Monday, July 24, 2017

Get on With Living and Loving

I made this meme using a quote and an image:



I like the way the devil and the angel remind us about eternity, while also about living and loving to the fullest in one image.

Plus, it's pretty hot! I saw it years ago and saved it. If you know who made it, let me know so I can give proper credit.

My husband said, "Hey, I just said that last night!" because he did say we'd better spend whatever time we have together before we don't have it anymore. As you get older, the years tick by faster and faster!

It also reminds me not to play it safe. Sometimes we have to take risks, little leaps of faith, put our trust in people or things in order to get to accomplish our goals; step out of our comfort zones.

Be intentional today.

Identify what you want your life to communicate and contribute, then set some goals.

Again,

  1. What do you want to contribute with your life? 
  2. What is your message?
  3. How will you get there? What steps do you have to take?

Overraction: What Do You Do If Things Get Out of Hand?

A friend said, what happens if you face your fear and the reaction is WORSE than you expected??

This is a valid question. I shouldn't say that if you face your fears, everything will work out okay. Sometimes it doesn't work out okay.


Step One: Reevaluate the situation. If you have time afterwards to debrief, review with yourself why things got so out of hand. What was said, by whom, when did the emotions really amp up? What was the turning point?

(I had a co-worker, the same one in the previous post, who became irate at one point in the course of our working together at the working situations. They pointed all failures at me. Our conversation was documented, by me, as I tried to puzzle out what else to do.)

Step Two: Perhaps you need to apologize for something you said, but don’t make excuses and promise not to do it again. You have to do it again! This was your fear, and it will remain in control of you if you don’t figure out a way around it.


(I don't remember making excuses, but continuing to try new things. I don't remember apologizing, either, which may have been a mistake, but the situation was a condition of our employment and these things happen. We can't prevent them all. I reached out to my support team for strategies. We had to deal with this and face it every day.)

Step Three: Prepare yourself mentally. Next time you need a new game plan. Explain how and why you are feeling what you are feeling as they happen. Yes, even out loud to another person. Communication helps you gain perspective and ground you and calm you.

(I had to help explain how the person in crisis was feeling. During crisis, I had to remind my team of procedure, the agreed upon steps to try from my support team and training. We had to debrief, what worked, what didn't, after the crisis moment was over. Then we could plan for the next time.)

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Overcome Your Fear and JUMP IN!


This little PowerPoint (you will have to click through) gives my three steps to overcoming my fears and taking life by the horns. 








Step One: You need to get curious about your fear. Analyze your thoughts, your location when they happen, who they happen around, and what your react is. Do you leave? Do your palms get sweaty and you become tongue tied? This is like analyzing a setting in your writing. Be descriptive and cover all the senses.

(I used to have a co-worker that I needed to confront. I idolized this person because they had more experience and I went to them for advice. However, I was higher in rank and felt manipulated into their ideas on how things should work. They would get really mad when I tried to do things differently, as was my prerogative as the superior.)


Step Two: If your best friend came up to you and said they were struggling with a fear, you would brainstorm with them, comfort them, and motivate them to try to face it, right? Why don’t you do that for your own fears? Replace your negative thought with positive ones and be grateful for what you do have. Ground yourself in the study of your surroundings, and shift your focus and perspective. Not everyone has this fear.


(I had to think about confronting her and her being angry with me. I did talk about this with another person and learned that they had similar feelings about being manipulated. I didn't feel alone and took comfort in this unity. I began to plan what I would say to her and how I would change the environment in my favor.)


Step Three: Then it’s time to do one small thing to face your fear. Speak up with an introduction, get closer to the thing that scares you. Many times I imagined a situation would turn out worse than it was once I had to face it. The reactions I expected didn’t occur, or they were much milder.

(When I finally confronted her, she was upset with the change I'd made. It worked out that the change was sorta her idea, however it didn't work out the way she wanted. She was put in charge of a group, but didn't get to have lunch break with her favorite conspirator anymore. Would she figure out a way to make this happen, so she could get a lunch break with her again? Probably. Would she figure out a reason to make another change in her favor, possibly. This time, I would be ready. All changes can be undone.)

Note: Since we cannot control everything, we have to let go of the illusion of control. It’s okay to cry, to ask for help, or to shake and tremble as we move closer to the thing we fear. Take deep breaths. Jump In!



(I certainly am in control of this situation, as I am the highest rank in my department. I needed to find unity and support for my actions and decisions in order to go through with them. I needed to gain some perspective on the situation and allow myself to jump in and make changes. I had to admit that not everything in my department was peachy, that I did not have control, in order to gain it back.)