Sunday, December 24, 2017

10 Signs of Relationship Abuse

I felt compelled to help those who may be experiencing abusive relationships. There is help. There is a way out. Find someone to talk to and a safe place to go. Call the hotline if you are in the United States, and learn what hotlines or resources there are in your country. Don't stay in an abusive relationship.

Monday, November 20, 2017


Most people think their spouse is supposed to be their soulmate.

I know I did.

I think this belief is propagated in Disney Princess movies. Our Prince Charming, Aladdin, Eric, or Flynn is supposed to be perfect and someone we can live happily ever after with.

Did you know that you can have more than one soulmate?

I'm not talking about polygamy, polyamory, adultery, or any of that stuff.

I'm talking about redefining the term Soulmate.

Sounds right. Thanks Dawson's Creek.

But no where does it say that this person has to be your spouse, the opposite gender, or the same age. No where does it say that this person remains in your life forever. No where does it say that this isn't several people, who may or may not be in your life at the same time.

At different times of our lives we will need and want different types of relationships.

How do you know if you have found a soulmate?

1. Indescribable Connection

Firstly, you will feel a sense of having known this person for all of your life. They will 'get' you. You will 'get' them. 
  • You may experience HUGE changes when you meet. You may shift directions entirely. You may experience emotions you never knew you could feel - extreme highs and lows.

2. Intertwining passions 

This is probably how you will meet. You both will love the same things. When you get together and work on those things, you will challenge and inspire each other to greater heights than ever before. You feel the need to team up and conquer something.

When we get together we pop off like Fourth of July - Hollyn
3. Complete Ease

There is no guilt, no nerves, no shame when you are around your soul mate. Despite what society, religion, culture, has to say, when you two are together, everything is perfect. No one has to understand you, but you.
  • You will know what the other person is thinking or feeling intuitively.
4. Mutual Growth

Lastly, you both will grow together. You learn from each other's failures and when you are apart, you still grow and learn. You bring out the best in each other.

The hard part:

Sometimes, once the lesson is learned, the person will drift away, having completed their mission. You will never forget them.

Here's the part you need to understand.

This is not the same as a Life Partner.

Soulmates can be your Life Partner, but they don't have to be. It's only in recent times that we expect our spouses to be in tune to us. Think about it.

(Or read here.)

Your spouse is your Life Partner.

What is a Life Partner?

Your relationship is based on being physically present and creating new memories.
You both feel a sense of financial and emotional stability by being together.
You resonate with each others beliefs, ideas or religion/philosophy.
Your relationship is based on logical or intellectual decisions.
You get along like best friends- your relationship does not suffer from extremes.
You enjoy getting to know each other and learn about your differences and similarities- everything about each other feels new and exciting.
You feel attracted to each other physically and resonate with each others values.

This distinction has helped me greatly and I hope it helps you, too.

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Championing for Students Who Fall in the Cracks

Image result for back to school image

Back to school is a busy time for me: classroom set-up, lesson planning, copying, new unhappy parents...

I am a teacher and a parent in the United States. I was going through teacher training as changes were already made and being implemented in the fields of Standardized Testing and Special Education. I held some strong beliefs back then about both and I still have them now, even as I've watched the two areas merge.

The parent I talked to held to the belief that students were put into Special Education to fill a 'quota' so the school could get their 'money' from the government. This father was right, however, the student in question wasn't attending a Title I school. I didn't talk about this fact, go into any politics, rather, my focus was on the student.

His concern was valid for his child, that his child was placed, or tracked, into the wrong 'track' for him.

This is what I was championing for back in college. This is what I would grow combative over, what made my heart both bleed and rage; students who fall through the cracks and get left behind in a system that doesn't cater to the 'in-betweens'.

In this case, the student and his dedicated family were not given the chance to learn what the skills he needs to succeed. They were told the school was doing what was best and the student was thriving and doing well. Sure, when you don't challenge a student to their full potential and he picks up on everything easily because he's not 'dumb', then he will thrive. He will look like a star.

But as he grows up, he will not be given the same opportunities once he is 'tracked' into a low achieving education system. The barriers that existed when he was small do not exist now that he is older. The excuses they used to place him are no longer valid. It's time for him to fly.

As a teacher, I have an obligation to push my students, to teach them as much as they can learn. I have an obligation to challenge myself to learn more to stay ahead of them.

I feel this is my calling, this role, to champion for the little guys who get stuck in the cracks. I'm donning my armor and getting ready for this fight. It might take 3 years to get him on 'track', but it will be worth it.