Don't EVER say God does things for a reason

There are some bad Christians out there, false prophets, twisting theology to their own means, creating in society a hatred for what they believe are Christian practices.

I'm going to focus on one.

DON'T EVER SAY "GOD DOES THINGS FOR A REASON"!

Don't ever tell a grieving parent that God needed their child as an angel.
Don't ever tell a depressed person that God is letting them suffer for a reason that we don't understand.
Don't ever tell a natural disaster survivor that their life was ripped apart as part of God's will.
Don't say that God LETS bad things happen.

Who are you to claim to know God's will??

"And we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

Does that mean the 'bad people' who 'don't love God' are exempt? That he turns his back on them and does nothing to help them? NO. He is working to change the hearts of ALL people to love. Some people are not changed yet.

I will point to the scripture that says: "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. Gen 50:20" This is Joseph, grown up, forgiving his brothers for selling him into slavery at the age of 17.

It does not say GOD intended harm. GOD intended good. He took the bad situation, the negative consequences, and He found a way for His good to still happen.

So you might throw back at me Ecclesiastes chapter 3 "In everything there is a season, a time for... (vs 3) killing and a time for healing..." Does this mean God plans or allows bad things? NO. Killing was allowed as a punishment for some crimes under the Law of Moses, or in war, or in defending yourself.  There is a time for killing, but it is NOT God doing it in this scripture.

Stop pulling things out of context.

He works IN SPITE OF, THROUGH, AROUND, and IN THE MIDST OF our screw ups, our effects that we caused. He has a plan, a grand scheme, a goal, and it is good.

Listen, God is NOT the author, He is the master of reworking flaws. He is not creating situations in which His characters, His people, get hurt. He is not George R.R. Martin. He is a sculptor whose critical eye works with flaws to make something beautiful and good.

Tragedies happen and despite them, despite the evil in the world, God is there. He takes each hiccup we throw at him and he works it into the creation. Nothing we do can throw him off his goal.

GOD MAKES IT WORK.

In order to come into a spirit more closely aligned with God...

Let's be realistic. We are screwing things up in our lives if we personify God as having human qualities of jealousy, revenge, and a penchant for watching people fall down. The reality is that He sees it all and can predict certain outcomes based on our choices fueled by our emotional state. He knows us. He finds a way to bring us around that does not harm us.

Let's be forgiving, and not in the 'I'm sorry' kind of way. The word forgiveness means carrying the burden of sin for the other person. You don't let their actions have the intended effects. Work around, through, and in the midst of the issue, the drama, to heal. God forgives, not letting our causes have the effects we were heading towards.

Let's be trusting. Nothing is so evil it cannot be redeemed in the eyes of God. Even when EVERY instinct you have says the opposite, KNOW that God is good. Everything will work out for good. When every instinct says to hang on and not let go and let God take control, you have to give that burden over to Him. Or when every instinct says to give in and just forget living life, keep hope and trust in the power of God and good to win out.

Yes, life is unfair. There are consequences for actions that you have no control over that may affect you, blindside you, anger you, take you down. As long as you are still breathing, you can have faith that God is working through it to achieve good. Did he create the mess? No. He can make it work for good. Good for you, good for the world, good for your family, your life, your future.

Does that mean he has a 'reason' or 'lets things happen'? No. It means you have to trust that He has a goal and He is there working no matter what unfair thing happens to you as a result of some other cause. You are not in control and you cannot judge, nor ascribe traits to God who created everything. You have to trust. You have to believe. 

Two Faces - Putting on a Good Show

I came across a quote today posted by Daily Plug on Facebook.

It's frustrating knowing how terrible of a person someone actually is, but everyone loves them because they put on a good show.

This is why I now have a few gray hairs.

(not my head!)

See, I fell for the show for a year and half. I learned from a person who was wise, kind, had a HUGE heart, and big opinions. I learned to have a thicker skin, to be more pessimistic and see things from a different point of view. I learned many skills I needed to survive. This person was a mentor.

Until I grew.

I grew from my study of them. I learned. As I grew, I tried to do what they do, to take the control that they possessed, which was my right. See, I was their ranking superior. I treated them with the respect of a peer and even a superior for a while when I was learning. As I grew, though, I needed to take over. They needed to phase out.

They didn't like that.

I cried myself to sleep. I talked to a few people about it and got some great advice. This person was going to make a mistake, say things to the wrong person, or tick someone off, and as long as I was keeping my nose clean and butt covered, I'd be fine. I knew they were trying to cover their own butt, so I had to cover mine.



This meant documentation. If anything went amiss, I needed to write it down. This person was good though, both in the way they performed their job, and in their good-natured heart. I began to examine what things upset me as well as what things upset them.

It was about control and action. They wanted control and quick action on events and trials that occurred in the workplace. I was supposed to have the control, the power, and I like to think before I act. I also do not like confrontation, so I did not have good conversations with them. I was not going to cry at work.

This person continued to offer up suggestions for the way I should do things. Sometimes I followed them and sometimes I didn't. I made schedule changes that they didn't like by having them switch lunches to supervise kids instead of have lunch with their best friend. I planned things for myself to do and they sat back and scoffed when I didn't do them their way, sending me 'warning' comments across the room. (It was a cooking lesson and they were a better cook, so they had comments about timing of parts of the meal and heat settings on the stove.) But I was the superior in rank in the room. If it didn't work out, it was a teachable moment for all of us. Not everything had to be perfect.



Fortunately, this person moved away. In the time leading up to this, I tried harder and harder to take control back. The person was not happy at all. They began to push others away with their complaints and negative attitude. I talked to others who also worked with this person and found out THEY were putting on a show of liking the person, too. I felt better. It wasn't just me.



I saw beneath the mask. I wasn't alone. Others could see beneath it, too. It's just not polite to talk about what you see behind the mask because it's often so ugly. Sometimes you need to know that others can see it, too. It makes living with the person more bearable.

I learned many things.

1. Life is short and you so have to make decisions, sometimes quick ones.
2. Say no and don't fret about what others think. Sometimes you have to be the bad guy. Sometimes you have to yell. You can go back later and debrief.
3. Document everything that can be traced back to you. Every action that another person will find out about. Make sure that if you use electronic communication that big issues go through email or paper notes and not texting or messaging.
4. Find a good friend to talk to about things. Don't keep it all inside. If your good friends still see the mask and not what's behind it, find a co-worker or someone else who might understand.
5. Cry. Go ahead and cry it out, in private or in public when appropriate.
6. Evaluate your own actions, your own masks. Make decisions. Change things. Grow. If you need time, take it.