First Song and a Plea; What Can I Try That's New?

For Christmas, I received a personalized mix of songs from a friend in Australia. I have to admit, I wasn't sure if I was supposed to figure out why he chose each of these songs and what his impression is of me, or just become more cultured by the various musical elements. He assured me that it was for inspiration.

The first track is a nice ballad with acoustic guitar. It's not chick rock, but I enjoy it. :P

Painted Rocking Horse by Coleman and Bartle, cd Sunrise After Tilling.

A song for the worrier. A song for a person who is holding back. Scary opportunity is knocking on the door, adventure, change, and all they want to do is stay in their comfort zone. They dream about the adventure and how they totally rock while in the adventure, and then wake up to worry about the opportunity possibly passing them up and them being stuck in the same comfortable spot, same old job, same lifestyle, whatever. Been there, done that!

I ride a painted rocking horse and I'm too frightened to let go
There's a holy stallion stamping at the door
And if I ride the wild horse tonight, well I wonder where I'll go
Would he leave me broken, bleeding in the snow?

'Cos it might all come, all come tumbling down
'Cos it might all come, all come tumbling down
But if I never go, how will I ever know?

The horse I've been riding never asks for exercise
It's just a lazy rock, a gentle walk inside
But the stallion asks for more than this, he's impatient for his bride
But my rocking horse and I just won't decide.

'Cos it might all come, all come tumbling down
'Cos it might all come, all come tumbling down
But if I never go, how will I ever know?

In dream I rode the nightmare, and in dream my heart was strong
I was lifted by the stallion and his song
But it's light and I'm still haunted by the winter of a fear
Of a stallion gone forever and I'm still here.


This is a worry I have had, for most of 2010! That's why I am resolving to try something new (gulp) in 2011. In January I tried for a new job, a career change, but that didn't work out. This month I got a job, but it's not new. I got new clothes, but they hardly count. The only thing I can think of to try is to do my hair.

I hardly ever change my hair. I've only temporarily dyed it before, never permanently, and I've only had it cut really short twice in my life. I shouldn't be afraid, it's hair, it grows. The well water makes the ends of my hair change color anyway, so I'd like to even it out. That's not bold enough? How about red?

I know, I'm not thinking very hard. Help me out here! Leave a comment with suggestions for new things I could try!


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De-ja vu vs. Pre-ja vu

De ja vu (Day-zha-voo) is when you've experienced something before. True De ja Vu is when you return to a place you have been and do the same activity over again. The time between occurrences could be days, weeks, hours, years. Some miniscule detail about the event or place will be unique and exactly replicated, like a coworker wearing a red scarf, or a piece of dust flying just so.

Pre-ja Vu (Pray-zha-voo) is when you've never ever ever been to a place or even met a person before and when you experience the tiny moment, you KNOW you've been there before, seen that before, and you KNOW you dreamed it because there is NO WAY IN HEAVEN you've could have ever known these things.

For example, I must have dreamed vividly of holding my newborn son in my arms just so, seeing his face, wearing that exact outfit, because when I glanced down and the lighting was just right, I was holding him exactly like this, and he had been born not a few days before. How could I have known what he would like or how I would sit here at this moment or what he was wearing?

I also had the same occurrence in the van with my boys the other day, where I was climbing through, they were strapped in, sitting just so, wearing their winter gear and the same items were on the center console.

Pre-ja-Vu happens more often than De-ja-Vu for me. I dream vividly, especially when something stressful is going on. Moving to a new house, starting a new job, having a baby, are all triggers for incidences like these. I can usually remember the last three dreams or the last longest dream I had when I wake, but I never remember these special Pre-ja-Vu moments until they happen, so they must be deep REM sleep dreams.

Do you ever have occurrences like this?