Do What You Love: Me

They say you should do what you love. By loving to go to work each day, you will have a fun and enjoyable experience. You might not want to come home, except, home is where the food is.

If I could do what I love, what would that look like?

I would be a writer. I think I also would be a speaker. I would give to others, teach others, and share.
 

Some people know what they want. They go after it. I've always been a 'grab the bull by the horns' kind of girl, even if I got thrown down to the ground. I've entered things with gusto and confidence that I could do it, only to end up lacking. The fall from confidence to vulnerability is great and painful. Getting back up and trying again takes courage, but wiping yourself off and turning towards a new adventure is even more brave.

Life is about your experiences. It's is about people, adventure, savoring the moments, and making memories.

Living what you love would include being able to do these kinds of things in your life that make you happy and never having regrets.

I always thought I was a people person. I could read my fellow classmates and give advice about their social relationships because I'm both intrinsically and extrinsically aware of social constructs. But high school is very different from the real world. I found out there were more types of personalities out there than I could handle. I considered a life including some kind of counseling as a career, and for a while I sated this need in chat rooms with writing friends giving advice while I worked toward teaching as a career. Then, that took over my life, the website died, and the friends moved on.

I miss the social part of my life. Going to Trivia every Monday is not cozying up on the couch over hot cocoa and letting it all out to an empathetic ear.

I drown under other, stronger personalities and the weight of making decisions that are more serious than I'd ever imagined. Feeling a bit more helpless and clueless lowers my self-esteem. I blame myself.

I stopped writing, blogging, ficletizing, and creating as all my energy went into planning, staying afloat, and trying to feel worthy in a thankless environment where all I can see are my mistakes and how far I am from the goal. This is not the work that I love. This is stress.

My heart is clearly elsewhere.

Something has to change. I don't know what yet. I know that I need to refocus and re-prioritize during this break from work. I'm starting with writing. Instead of coming home and unwinding with a show or mindless facebook game, I will come home and write first. Without writing, I have lost myself.

After I organize my thoughts and write them down, I will find my focus. New motivation will come, the finish line will appear, and I will race towards it. The calendar will fill with deadlines and projects will become completed.

Once I begin writing, I will renew my energy to get back into the circles of critique and passion. I will find new friends to work with, learn new techniques for marketing, and maybe finally publish something worth reading.

How To Get Things Done Instead of Procrastinating

Well when I have a pending task to accomplish, from cleaning house, to editing a book, to running errands, I follow the same format to motivate myself to stop procrastinating.

I begin by centering my mind on the task at hand and sort of procrastinate by making lists.

1. Make lists I make lists of EVERYTHING! Post-its are my friends. Make lists of the things you want to do. List long term goals, short term goals, and categorize them. Often when I am writing a list for one thing, another thing pops into my head and I make a new list for that topic. If I have it all written down, I don't have to waste so much energy remembering it all day in and day out. This does take time, but it is well worth it. You feel like you've gotten some direction when you are finished. The bonus to list making is the satisfying check marks you can place beside completed items. And the greatest reward is beign able to throw the list away when it is exhausted.

2. Prioritize Once you have your lists, put them in some sort of order. Maybe star the items that you need to do right away. You most likely already have them in long term and short term categories, but some of the short term goals are most likely steps toward a larger goal. Those steps can be prioritized or ordered into a very workable schedule.

3. Clear your schedule For me, that might mean removing my kids from the hem of my skirt! It also means giving yourself a block of time to achieve your goals. The ways I suggest doing so, are as follows:

4. Remove your distractions Turn off the ringer on the phone, turn off your cell, turn off the tv or radio or ipod. Do not open an internet window unless your goal is internet related. Gather whatever you need to achieve your goal and ONLY what you need to achieve your goal.

5. Say no If someone asks you to something when you are trying to accomplish a task, tell them you are busy. In the case of my children, this teaches them patience. (Though you have to address their needs, not ignore them forever!) Don't overbook yourself, or take an offer from someone to avoid doing whatever it is you need to do. If you've set aside time and planned this far in advance for the task, you'd better follow through!

6. Do it! Now that you've cleared your calendar and removed the distractions and have your space all set up, get going! There is no time like the present.

7. Reward yourself! Goodness knows we wouldn't do anything for nothing, we are human after all! You'll never get anything done if you are not giving yourself some sort of treat when you are done. You can choose an intrinsic reward like satisfaction, or an extrinsic reward like food, an event (shopping counts), or a glass of lemonade on the porch.