Making the Most of Summer

I've been told that I haven't blogged in a while an I need to. Firstly, here's why:

https://hawkandyoung.com - 6 free short stories and their shiny new covers!

https://hawkandyoung.wordpress.com - New author interviews, articles, and pleas for your help.

https://www.patreon.com/hawkandyoung - Support me and my co-author's writing endeavors!

https://rejectedmanuscripts.org/shortfiction/son-of-hades/ - vote for our short story to make it into an anthology!

I've been entering lots of writing contests, too. There are still 2 entries out waiting for rejections. :P


Soon I have to get back into my classroom and transform it for a new school year full of new challenges. I'm taking my summer break and LOVING the most out of it!

People ask me, 'do you have any big summer plans?' Well no, and while we sort of wanted to go to Holiday World this summer, which is like a 200 dollar day trip, we've had 2,000 dollars in medical bills to pay with 3 more on the way of an unknown amount.

Yes, with insurance. Except for the dog's heartworm treatment, we do not have pet insurance.

Blessings though, there was a time when 2,000 dollars would have been the end for us. We continue to struggle, yes, but it is not completely insurmountable. We will crawl out from under this and be okay.

But let's not dwell on the numbers, rather, let's look at us being healthy and making the most of our days.

Sunday the weather was perfect for a swim. Afterward I made a fire in the fire pit and there were no biting bugs, a cool breeze, and partly cloudy skies. It was perfection.

While I woke up with a headache today, I could sleep in. That small luxury alone is a huge blessing. I could read a book in comfort and not even get dressed. I could take a bubble bath or a nap. This is the kind of day I dream about having during the school year when I'm working and the weather changes and I feel crummy but I have to go to work and deal with my students also feeling crummy.

Before that happens, I want to use up the coupons in my wallet. I have all these little free food coupons I was gifted before I left school to places I don't normally go. Let's try something new! It could be a week of 'never leave your city' or 'staycation' trips where I and the boys pretend to be tourists in our own town. If they would go for that.

I want to keep having mini dates with hubby. Even though I sometimes complain that we never go where I want to go because we can't afford it, or he wouldn't enjoy it so I can't enjoy something I would have otherwise enjoyed (like parades, air shows, zip lining, or theme parks), I still enjoy talking to him about our book series, going to places, and being with him. He tells me that he takes me places just to be with me. If I can't go to Monday night Trivia, even though everyone else there is either his family or his friends, he says he won't go without me. I need a friend to go with me to some of those other places that he won't.

I want to paint a picture and color an adult coloring book page.

I want to read a bunch of books in my library. I'm reading Game of Thrones right now.

I want to work my butt off writing. Things are getting rejected, things are getting accepted. I'm making tons of new writer friends on Twitter and getting some awesome words down on "paper" every day.

Some days I wax poetic:
Hold onto me 
and I'll hold onto you. 

 If I feel your grip 
slacken a little in mine 

 My grip will fail 
We'll both drift off into space

Angry, Baby
It's an angry day 
dream in anger 
Frustrations fall on deaf ears 

It's an angry month 
nightmares reign 
Timelines don't sync up 

Been an angry year 
Money spent 
Hopes faded to dark 

What comes after anger? 
Acceptance 
Bring on the numbness

Or haiku:
Our story book ends 
Dusk rainbow soft before night 
New story begins

Sometimes I ponder myself and my values:
You say there is freedom in not tweeting what you were gonna say, but I shudder to think that you are dishonest with me. I get that some things are better left unsaid, but if it would change the course of history for the better, even brutal honesty has its place.

Sometimes I go back to high school:
I watched you open your locker from across the hall. You pulled out my note, started to unfold it. Your buddy jumped on your shoulder and you silently slid it into your pocket. My heart beats 'keep reading', 'keep reading' as I walk to class.

Sometimes I raise the temperature:
At a loss for words, your dripping chest emerges from the hot tub. "Join me?" Slowly, I strip off my clothes and take your hand to step into the bubbles, my temperature rising with more heat inside that out.

The offer dangled before him like the apple of Eve's sin. He wanted so badly to taste it, but hadn't yet decided which he would regret more, having done it, or having not. His head said turn away, but his body lusted forward. His heart was torn.

Beneath the brim of his black fedora, two brown eyes smoldered. My breath caught in my chest. A slow smile crept across my mouth as a blush colored my cheeks and I forced my eyes down. "You like my hat?" I wanted to fling myself at him and connect my lips with his.

Sometimes I'm random:
The plane began a tail spin, dropping out of the sky. My heart dropped with it as the pilot ejected. News media claimed the pilot was fine, but I looked at the bruised face attached to the hand I held in the army hospital, willing him to wake.

Gazing in wonder at your tiny fingers and tiny toes, thinking about how people congratulate me for making you, but you were not made by me. You are beautiful, full of hope and promise. I did nothing but carry you and I will carry you for the rest of your life.

Puckering up is lips in thought, he cocked his little head, then declared, "It means you have to say you're sorry?" 
"While you should apologize for a mistake, it means you have to try again." 
"Re-sil-ien-cy" 
"Kids have it. Adults don't."

And then I dream:
I saw you and I found my feet flying towards you, huge smile bringing tears. First I hugged you, held you, felt your warmth and strength as some tears leaked out. I sniffed and blinked, backing up to look in wonder at your face. Was this real?
https://hawkandyoung.wordpress.com/2018/06/14/ellysian-empire-united-under-one-banner/

Do What You Love: Me

They say you should do what you love. By loving to go to work each day, you will have a fun and enjoyable experience. You might not want to come home, except, home is where the food is.

If I could do what I love, what would that look like?

I would be a writer. I think I also would be a speaker. I would give to others, teach others, and share.
 

Some people know what they want. They go after it. I've always been a 'grab the bull by the horns' kind of girl, even if I got thrown down to the ground. I've entered things with gusto and confidence that I could do it, only to end up lacking. The fall from confidence to vulnerability is great and painful. Getting back up and trying again takes courage, but wiping yourself off and turning towards a new adventure is even more brave.

Life is about your experiences. It's is about people, adventure, savoring the moments, and making memories.

Living what you love would include being able to do these kinds of things in your life that make you happy and never having regrets.

I always thought I was a people person. I could read my fellow classmates and give advice about their social relationships because I'm both intrinsically and extrinsically aware of social constructs. But high school is very different from the real world. I found out there were more types of personalities out there than I could handle. I considered a life including some kind of counseling as a career, and for a while I sated this need in chat rooms with writing friends giving advice while I worked toward teaching as a career. Then, that took over my life, the website died, and the friends moved on.

I miss the social part of my life. Going to Trivia every Monday is not cozying up on the couch over hot cocoa and letting it all out to an empathetic ear.

I drown under other, stronger personalities and the weight of making decisions that are more serious than I'd ever imagined. Feeling a bit more helpless and clueless lowers my self-esteem. I blame myself.

I stopped writing, blogging, ficletizing, and creating as all my energy went into planning, staying afloat, and trying to feel worthy in a thankless environment where all I can see are my mistakes and how far I am from the goal. This is not the work that I love. This is stress.

My heart is clearly elsewhere.

Something has to change. I don't know what yet. I know that I need to refocus and re-prioritize during this break from work. I'm starting with writing. Instead of coming home and unwinding with a show or mindless facebook game, I will come home and write first. Without writing, I have lost myself.

After I organize my thoughts and write them down, I will find my focus. New motivation will come, the finish line will appear, and I will race towards it. The calendar will fill with deadlines and projects will become completed.

Once I begin writing, I will renew my energy to get back into the circles of critique and passion. I will find new friends to work with, learn new techniques for marketing, and maybe finally publish something worth reading.

Time to Recalibrate: Retail Therapy isn't Real Therapy

Are you Christmas shopping yet? I am.

Last year was the first year I used the internet to shop. This year, I have already ordered.

Work has created enough anxiety for me recently, that agonizing over presents and prices is not something I want to do!

I have had my eye on the "perfect" gifts for my nieces for a month now. They are Animal Babies. Link to the giraffe I went into the store and there was a sale on the item, but the store did not carry the giraffe, nor the white tiger. I went to the store's website and they did not list all of their on-shelf items, and not even a whisper of these particular toys. So, it was back to my amazon cart; always faithfully holding these items for me. I found better prices and clicked "proceed to checkout". Done.

How did I unwind this weekend?

I went to a concert. The parking garage had me on edge. I'm NOT a parking garage person. I don't have much experience with these 'city' things! But I did okay.

Colton Dixon

Britt Nicole

Toby Mac and Hollyn

It was so much fun! I took my sister and youngest son. It was his first concert. Mommy-son bonding time! Plus, I have always wanted to go to a Toby Mac concert. Always. I get to check this off my bucket list. <3 p="">
How should I be unwinding?

Writing.

At the concert, I was reminded of my dreams and desires. I threw off the anxieties and pressures of late, and I was open to listening to my heart instead of my mind. We were asked what our dreams were and challenged to live what we love and have a passion for.

With all the depression and anger and anxiety at work, I have been seeking solace in retail therapy; getting items for my classroom, for my nieces for Christmas, and even needed clothes for my boys. I have also been watching Netflix shows and Hulu, and I have been reading. None of these are real therapy. None of these solve any problems, push me forward, nor help me reach my dreams. They are escapist, avoidance behaviors.

I haven't been writing. Not a blog, not a letter, not a ficlatté. I have worked on them sporadically, but not like earlier in the year.

I have felt more like a lost soul than ever.

That's not right.

This is not me.

It's time to re-calibrate.

I'm beginning here. I wrote this blog post. I am going to finish a letter to my friend. Then I'm going to open up Ficlatté in a web browser and type something. (ficlatte.com) I'm going to reclaim myself. Writing is a way to deal with the feelings. Most of my dreams and goals are author-related. My empathetic being cannot keep pouring myself out to my students, my tutoring students, and my family, and never fill myself back up.

I need to dream, to live, to love, and to be happy again. My therapy, real therapy, is inside; and is expressed through writing, journaling, and drawing.

This is who God made me.

How Setting Up My Classroom Is Like Writing

It's back to school time! I've been frantically trying to set up my classroom. I've moved furniture, put up posters and borders, and sorted items into areas in the room. I haven't located what I did with the batteries, but I'm sure they will turn up.

I found a pedometer and put it on halfway through my day. I logged 2 miles in my classroom. It says 4,598 steps. I came home tired. It didn't feel like I worked that hard, but I guess 4 miles of walking will do that.

The next day I put on the pedometer as I walked to my car. When I walked out of school hours later it said 5 miles.

But besides the exercise of the back to school frantic rush, there was this one revelation...

I've realized I set up my classroom the same way I write a book. 

First, the outline.  I make a floor plan of my room and decide where all the students will go and where all the academic parts will take place. I make a schedule and decide which groups go where and when.

Next, the rough draft. I pull out all of the things pertaining to that area, making it very cluttered. Every toy, device, paper, file, or writing utensil as needed are right there in the right place. But they aren't all used at the same time.

Then, I have to edit these areas like I edit stories. Is this really necessary right now? Can I put it someplace else? I have taken out the things I'm going to use first and left them in the areas in an organized way while putting everything else in the closet. I can rotate toys and books and vocational work tasks later. I don't need a shelf of them hanging around looking slightly messy.

Then it's time to work on the cover art. In my room, I decorate with posters, bulletin board borders, and pictures. I make it look fun and cool and presentable as best I can.

http://www.teachthought.com/teaching/why-teaching-is-the-best-job-in-the-world/

Now, to spend my last free weekend of summer NOT worrying about school!

First Draft, What To Expect at 20,000 Words

A quick update on Camp Nanowrimo, I'm over 20,000 words. :) Yay! Most of them are crap. 

However, I would not have gotten this far in without outlining my novel. I'm in love with the way I set up this novel almost more than the novel itself.

How I Outlined My Novel And Why I Love It

What do I mean by most of my words in my first draft being crap?

Sometimes the words are just exposition, setting up the scene in a very blazé way that even bores me, but they get me started. (Unnecessary backstory) It's not that they aren't important, because they are. It's that they do not move the story forward in an engaging way. I write them out. I call it word vomit.

Then suddenly, I'm in the scene, I'm creating dialogue, my characters are alive and the story moves along quickly. The next thing I know, I have a 1,000 words for the day.

You got it, Terry Pratchett with a third 'T', not Prachett as this meme screws up his name!! The first draft is the place for meeting your characters, them changing the outline and plot in ways you hadn't thought of, and lots of word vomit as you tell yourself the story. The rewriting and editing phases are when you cut out the backstory and keep it hidden from readers until that crucial moment. It's where you take the parts of your characters personalities you learned by the end and put them into the beginning where they felt flat.

I can't wait to get there. At 20,000 words, my characters are beginning to fight for their goals, to care, to meet each other, and to interact. Things should escalate quickly. This will be good.

Getting here was a struggle some days, but from here, the story will tell itself.


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Slice of Life, Summer Edition: Plus, Where I Learned to Outline My Novel

This summer has been very rainy. My garden has gone nuts, which means a huge harvest, but it also means it's too muddy out there to weed. I lost a tulip tree. It sat in a swamp that used to be my backyard for a week. Bye bye. The lake in my front yard kept coming back.

We tried to go to Holiday World in early July, supposed to be the hottest summer month, but it rained.

Now, a scattered showers and overcast day is the best time to go. No lines! We got to ride some rides twice in a row, or some rides for the first time because there were no long lines in the hot sun.

But this rain was relentless, and eventually cooled the air temperature down to uncomfortably cool when wet. They closed the park early, before a lightning storm hit, and took names of people for free admission on another day. I'm looking forward to it. even though this theme and water park is exhausting. It's built on hills and those water slides have 7 or 8 flights of stairs to the top. That walk back to the car (even though we got good parking because attendance was low) is killer! I'm working out before we go again!

Also, I made a whopping 8 cents. Found in the parking lot. I love finding money.

You know what's going to happen. We are going to go back to school in early August, and that's when it's going to finally be summer. It'll be hot and good swimming weather and we have to make the kids stay indoors and learn. 

But let's not think about that now. I have a couple more weeks before I have to think about that. Sort of. I've already been planning. Shh.. don't tell anyone that part of my brain is still on teaching mode.

I'm distracting myself with writing for Camp Nanowrimo. I have over 10,000 words. I'm pretty pleased with myself. I couldn't have done it without writing up an outline and using Scrivener. 

Here is the basic outline idea.

http://www.helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com/secrets-story-structure-complete-series/

http://www.helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com/how-to-structure-scenes/

Scrivener makes this easy.

http://www.helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com/my-writing-process-pt-1-of-2-how-i-use-scrivener-to-outline-my-novels/ (part 1)

http://www.helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com/my-writing-process-pt-2-of-2-how-i-use-scrivener-to-write-my-first-drafts/ (part 2)

Love Weiland and Scrivener!

Dear 12-Year-Old Writer-Me

I know lately I've been posting all ME ME ME, MY BOOK THIS, MY BOOK THAT, but self-publishing is all about self-promotion. The free Kindle version sale is about to end and I have to plan for the next big thing. (My smashwords books are always free.)

Camp Nanowrimo! 

I've set a goal for only 30,000 words in July. It seems like you would ask:  "Why only 30K? This is SUMMER, Woman! You have nothing to do but write!", but I know life will get in the way. Plus, at the end of July I will be planning more intensively for my new school year.

To prepare, I have written an outline for the new work I want to work on. This fantasy novel has been in notebooks, written down since I was like 12. It's time I gave it an adult spin. It's time I showed my 12 year old self that I believe in her and what a good writer I have grown into.

Dear 12-year-old writer-me,  

Your ideas are awesome! Continue to write them down because you will never lose them that way. Go ahead and fall in love and out of love so you can write about that, too. In fact, you already know a lot about love and people want to read about it. 

Having an obsession with paper is okay.

Keep drawing and doodling and studying. 

Study people, know people's emotions, because you will have to learn to write them well, and work with them, too. You will need to find Beta Readers, keep a job, and feel lonely without friends so get to know people. They are important.

Someone will love you for who you are, so don't compromise on yourself. 

Keep being a good friend. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable, not just empathetic. You'll make closer friends. Finding friends as an adult is much harder. Life teaches you to be on guard, to not wear your heart on your sleeve, but that is not what difference-makers do. Live. Love. Dream.

I was pretty well set on the path to writing greatness when I was younger. I didn't know it at the time, but I knew I had a great imagination, a love for people, was quite observant, and I had a thirst for knowledge, especially social knowledge.

As I got a bit older, I loved camp, too. :) I think I tried to write a book outline about camp, but it never amounted to much...

Exciting News!

Today I have self-published my first book!


This was a long time in coming. I had attempted this book in 2008-2009 when I wrote it as a Nanowrimo novel and used the winning promotions to self-publish. However, I was in too much of a hurry and submitted a draft rather than a polished copy. Ashamed, I let it stagnate.

I tried to do a full re-write but lost that document in a computer crash. I was devastated.

Until I found the original.

This month, I woke it back up. I did some research and made it better. It has a new title, new cover (or two), and a little bit of new content. The bones were good. It didn't need all the change I thought it did. I'm happy with it. It makes a good first novel. It may not be huge, but it is not terrible.

It is now LIVE on Amazon (link coming), Kindle Direct, CreateSpace, and Goodreads (link coming). There will be a promo or a giveaway.

Also, I have a shiny new facebook author page. https://www.facebook.com/elshahawk . Please go and like it.

I've also tried my hand at NO Content books. I made a couple of cute homework planners.
https://tsw.createspace.com/title/5561874
https://tsw.createspace.com/title/5560368

In the works is a new short story for free on smashwords, and the beginnings of a new manuscript. :)

Stay tuned for more!




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A to Z - "W" is for Write

For those who don't know, I am a writer.

goinswriter.com

Not just blogs. I write other stuff. Not all of it is good. Hardly any of it is seen by eyes other than mine.

But I own the title. I love to write. I desire to write. Despite my career that pays the bills, at my core is a writer. If I could get the place where writing pays my bills, I think I would. Not just any writing, but writing that makes me happy.

If you want to be a writer, then you have to do one thing.

Write.

It really is that simple. Being a writer doesn't mean that what you write is any good. You will sound ridiculously immature when you first start out. As you go along and read over what you have created, you will be embarrassed for yourself. But it's all part of leaning and growing.

Keep at it.

One day you will be awesome. Practice. Write everything. Type, calligraphy, shorthand, write.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Honesty: Who Am I? The Midlife Crisis or The Crossroads

I am not sure I really qualify for the mid-life crisis. I'm not in the middle of my lifespan (I hope). But I have been feeling like I am in the wrong place. Maybe I'm surrounded by the wrong people, or in the wrong town, or have the wrong job.  Feeling "wrong" seems to be a common occurrence among adults. This is why there are so many well-paid speakers out there giving inspirational speeches! I've even talked a little bit with my parents about how I feel. As an adult, the parents no longer really have much to say. This is my ship in the storm to guide, not theirs.

I'm feeling mediocre.

I think I missed the early adulthood phase where you do some major self-discovery and it is finally catching up with me. I was always the good girl doing what was expected of me. I went to college, never partied, had one solid relationship, got married, had kids, and chased after a career. I'm pretty boring. I color inside the lines.

And life is not so bad. It's not always easy nor pretty, and I do get depressed sometimes and happy other times, but it's not fraught with hardships. I have made a life with my husband that meets our needs. It is satisfying. Then again, I am not on any quests, nor adventures, either. I can't complain.

However, I am feeling restless.

So what do I want to do with my life?

I went to college to become a special needs teacher. As I have progressed through this field, struggled to find a job, gone back to college for more training, and am finally working in a position I feel most confident, I constantly second-guess myself. There is always someone out there who can do things in a different and more effective way. I do include those kinds of thinkers on my team and value their input, modeling their styles when I can, but I also feel so dumb and incapable beside them when they share their knowledge with me.

I worked with many kinds of special needs people at all ages. I love when I am able to connect with someone and they do something they've never done before. I like tutoring. I tutor some students with special needs and some without. I think one way I might go is to become an ABA therapist. This is an up and coming field and much more flexible than teaching for locations where you can work. Plus, the work is more of a therapy where one-on-one work is performed. I have always been better at one-on-one.

What I really love to do is write. I didn't know this in my college years. It's nearly too late to go back and take classes. Where could I go with it? This future is cloudy, but also would most likely give me the adventure and freedom I seek.

I've thought about being some kind of speaker, promoting my book, generating interest and dollars and traveling the country. I don't have a topic. What do I have to say? I am passionate about Education, Special Needs, Parenting, Blogging, Love, and Creative Writing. What can I do with this?

If I write a book about these things and promote it, will I be happy?
If I do not, is the next step for me ABA therapy?

How I Enjoy My One Full Month of Summer

I have finally settled into the one full month of summer and I made a few promises to myself.

1. Do as little school-related as possible.  Sure, I am looking for great bargains on supplies, and I always have my classroom to-do list in the back of my mind, but overall, I am pushing those thoughts aside if possible. If the urge to research something or jot down a note comes, I am doing it, however I am limiting myself.

2. Make a point to play with my kids. I just made them a mini croquet field out of pool noodles. We used play golf clubs and little kick balls to navigate it. It was fun. We are going to the county fair later to ride rides. We just spent 2 days with family eating, playing, and talking. July is going to be about parenting and taking breaks/time for myself.

3. Do something creative. I was looking up art yesterday on pinterest for inspiration and I found the picture that is inspiring the color palette for my living room overhaul.

Autumn Fog — PALETTE KNIFE Oil Painting On Canvas By Leonid Afremov - Size: 20" x 36" 

Click on the link to see more of his work, as I LOVE it. Also, I want this painting if anyone is feeling exceptionally generous! :)

I am in the mood to paint something. I might also do some doodling and art journaling. I might have the boys paint with me. Whatever I do, or if I do them all, I will do them because I am free to do them.

July is also JulNoWriMo, and I am writing. That takes creative energy, too. So when I am not painting, I may be writing.

I may also be doing some cross stitch. I have a counted cross stitch I have been working on for oh, 12 years. :)

Here you can see my progress, and how large it is.

4. Do something active, or a workout, every day! I can't go back to work all flabby and tiring easily. I may have to wrestle with students whose muscles don't cooperate when dressing, lift students who can't sit up, help support a student in the middle of a seizure, or hold back students who want to run off. I may also be challenged to a relay race in the gym. :) Plus, it helps me feel good about myself. That's the whole point, really.

We have a park nearby, relatives with a nice pool, and there are plenty of videos on Daily Hiit to show me some new and fun exercises. The elliptical is always ready to go, not to mention the yoga mat.

Let's Do This, July!

January Is Over??

Day 29: Goals for the Next 30 Days

1. Try Something New (at this point I'm thinking it may be hair related)
2. Post About Inspiration (among other things)
3. Car Maintenance
4. Edit something
5. Finish series' on Ficly.com
6. Make a Dance Mix
7. Stay Positive At Work (and remind everyone I have a license to teach)
8. Eat Healthy (my job requires walking up and down stairs a lot, so it'll help me start to lose my 2010 fat)

And that's what I have so far..




This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

This Blazé Mood Just Won't Do

Day 28: Something That You Miss

Right now, I miss writing. I haven't done much more than blog (and you can tell that's been every other day lately) and copy over a story with multiple POVs to one singular first person Point of View.

I haven't been on my favorite website!

I miss the feeling of completion when I finish something epic and hit that submit button.

I miss the elation at getting a new comment on my work, even if it offers up a critique.

I miss the zone I go into when I am typing up a scene. Much like reading, stepping away from the piece back into reality is surreal.

At least during Nano I was writing every day and felt this bliss often. It's just been a long week, and I'm facing another long week, so I just want to crash and do nothing and wallow in my own self laziness.

But then I wouldn't have clean clothes.

And my yucky mood would last longer.

We can't have that.

(Usually what I miss is having a real girlie friend to shop with, but I'm not in a shopping mood.)


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Is There A Happy Balance?

Day 27: A Problem That You Have Had

I've been struggling with my role. Yep. I want to work to support my family financially, however, that has been troublesome. I apply and maintain my resume and try, but nothing comes to fruition.

I want to also keep my home tidy and healthy for my family, and enjoy sleeping in, or choosing what days to work and when to be lazy as a substitute.

I can't have both.

Do I want to work or do I want to be lazy?

Then there is writing. When I am all flustered, not a word comes out. When I am busy with work and housecleaning, I can't even read and leave a comment on my favorite website! If I want to write, I have to not work.

Am I a writer, or a worker? Can I find a happy balance?

I think if I get a consistent job, I can work around my schedule and fit chores and writing in. With this inconsistent schedule, I never know what I'll have time for.

Yes, there is a balance. Consistency brings harmony.

Getting there is the struggle.


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Shout Outs

Day 15: Your favorite blogs

FINALLY I can take a break from talking about myself, which has been bugging me, and talk about others. Yay!

First of all, on the right, you will see links to blogs of fellow writers that I follow. Some of them I keep in touch with by other means. I follow more than are linked there, some that update infrequently so they aren't on the list right now, and I read more than I can follow.

I enjoy reading the blog of Betsy Lerner, an agent who has written a book about the writing craft called Forest for the Trees. Her snappy and blunt musings tell me that as an agent, she would put me in line and balance my calmer, weaker, passive demeanor. I printed out a quote of hers and have it taped to my 2011 office space:

"Dude, write your heart out. delete half of it. Get it into the hands of a writing workshop, class or freelance editor. Work on it more. Repeat. Send to moi and five other agents. See what happens. If you bottom out, try again. Revise. Start a new project. Revise, etc. Never give up. Self-publish. Just keep writing and developing and living. That's the most important part."

That is my new credo for 2011.

On a more dangerous note, I also follow Blogging Dangerously by an anonymous woman who writes about married S.E.X. As well as Adding Zest to Your Nest which is a Christian blog of multiple writers who provide advice, tips, suggestions, challenges, and addresses issues on Christian Married Sex.

Why?

Just because I don't talk about it, doesn't mean I don't have strong feelings about it. From those two blogs, you will get a feel for my feelings about it. I want to surround myself with like-minded people for support when I'm feeling less than frisky.

And that's enough about that. I'm not blogging anonymously here!

I also want to give a shout out to a friend who has made a basic Blog Post Inspiration Engine and needs contributors! You can see some of my blog posts linked there as well as his. If you have an idea, send him a note, maybe with your own blog post linked. He is author of The Outer Hoard and is one of my contacts in Australia! (Woohoo, I'm world-renowned! :P)

I follow several authors:

• K.M. Weiland
• Laurie Halse Anderson
• One day I want a site like Shawn Klomparens where you can find everything about my books. My Wordpress About tab is the closest I have. dailyspoonfulsofsugar.wordpress.com (and they are not daily as I had hoped)
• Or better yet, hook up with Digital Novelists like April Raines did.
  

And some inspiring blogs

• Operation NICE
• The Awe-manac
• 1000 Awesome Things (which is a book now)

Happy reading!


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Music and Me

Day 11: Ipod shuffle, first 10 songs.

I don't OWN an ipod.
I'm not really musically inclined.
Music is my weakest 'intelligence'.
Sure, I sing loudly in the car, but it's a joyful NOISE.

I used to be pretty good at singing, but I'm way out of practice now.

Plus, I choose to listen to Christian rock, and hubby is not into that, so I try to be accommodating and I only play it when he is not home, or on my computer with the headphones plugged in.


When I do listen to music I am usually doing other things, like laundry folding, or driving, things that take up the mechanical part of my brain.

I can't listen to music and write. Okay, well sometimes I can. But usually, I need to concentrate in silence. I find if I do listen to music when writing, I stop paying attention to the music. I am in a state of sensory deprivation, a tunnel created by the sound, a zone where only the words matter.

I live in a primarily music-less world. I enjoy music, but I can't hear all the subtle nuances that a musician can. I can't pick out each instrument in a composition. I just like what I like. I don't like country-twangy singers, or nasally singers. I love a good beat.

Maybe I should listen more often, especially if I want to dance for exercise! Maybe this should be a resolution; make an exercise mix.


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Blind

Jotted down a story today about Light versus Darkness, in the literal sense.

Blind

When the lights were on, life was vibrant. The people danced, colors swirled, music blared and smiles shone as bright as the glitter and sequins.

The night was dark, but after the club closed we drove around, the crew attempting to keep the party going in the car. We belted out lyrics, clinking bottles together, whooping and hollering. Still smiling.

Then the lights went out. The darkness was so complete. The singing stopped, the smiles were gone, the colors vanished. All that was left was pitch black darkness and pain. My ears rang for a long time. My head swam in the oblivion, trying to find something that made sense.

I heard sounds as the ringing stopped, whimpering sounds, but it was only me. And the darkness remained. It covered me, held me gently, and frightened me. I called out, but the darkness swallowed my pleas.
“Can you hear me?”

“Yes!”

“Where am I? I can’t see anything!”

“You were in an accident. We’re going to remove the gauze now.”

Brilliant white light invaded the dark. I gasped.

I hope this inspires you to write a little about light, dark, both, or opposites in general. :)

Friday Ficlet! Steamy, Sultry, and Getting Rave Reviews!

Stirrings That Pre-Date the Dawn

They’d had a late night. The white gown was still crumpled on the floor. A trail of silks and linens led to a hotel bed in disarray.

It wasn’t even light out. The horizon was barely a lighter shade of midnight blue to the blackness of the dewy landscape.

But they were awakened by stirrings that pre-date the dawn.

A line of golden light beamed on the floor from under a closed door. Tendrils of steam danced out, permeating the light, shining a cool gray and rising quickly into the stillness of the darkened room.

Suddenly the door opens, a fog envelops the form of two humans holding onto one another, completely immersed in each other. The fog quickly dissipates into the dark room and the couple follow it toward the bed.

In the lit bathroom, two water droplets race, zig zagging down the cloudy mirror, pooling together, moving faster, until they reach the filigreed edge.

Two drawn hearts overlap on the mirror. Two real hearts beat against one another in the morning as the sun slowly rises on love.