Championing for Students Who Fall in the Cracks

Back to school is a busy time for me: classroom set-up, lesson planning, copying, new unhappy parents...

I am a teacher and a parent in the United States. I was going through teacher training as changes were already made and being implemented in the fields of Standardized Testing and Special Education. I held some strong beliefs back then about both and I still have them now, even as I've watched the two areas merge.

The parent I talked to held to the belief that students were put into Special Education to fill a 'quota' so the school could get their 'money' from the government. This father was right, however, the student in question wasn't attending a Title I school. I didn't talk about this fact, go into any politics, rather, my focus was on the student.

His concern was valid for his child, that his child was placed, or tracked, into the wrong 'track' for him.

This is what I was championing for back in college. This is what I would grow combative over, what made my heart both bleed and rage; students who fall through the cracks and get left behind in a system that doesn't cater to the 'in-betweens'.

In this case, the student and his dedicated family were not given the chance to learn what the skills he needs to succeed. They were told the school was doing what was best and the student was thriving and doing well. Sure, when you don't challenge a student to their full potential and he picks up on everything easily because he's not 'dumb', then he will thrive. He will look like a star.

But as he grows up, he will not be given the same opportunities once he is 'tracked' into a low achieving education system. The barriers that existed when he was small do not exist now that he is older. The excuses they used to place him are no longer valid. It's time for him to fly.

As a teacher, I have an obligation to push my students, to teach them as much as they can learn. I have an obligation to challenge myself to learn more to stay ahead of them.

I feel this is my calling, this role, to champion for the little guys who get stuck in the cracks. I'm donning my armor and getting ready for this fight. It might take 3 years to get him on 'track', but it will be worth it.

In My Dreams This Week (2)

It's been fun to share my dreams here. I haven't gotten a huge response, but people are reading them.

This week I dreamed I was on a school bus. Not any bus, but the special needs bus we take for CBI, or outings into the community. The bus driver was there. She was stopped, though, and I exited the bus with my class. The boys were to line up and wait for everyone to get off. 

While we were standing there I saw two kittens on the side of the road. I went to them and crouched down. One was white and tan and the other was white and gray. One was skinny and the other was fatter and healthier. I picked up the fatter one. I considered whether the bus driver would let me take them on the bus, but knew she wouldn't. Besides, we would normally return to school, where kittens would not be allowed, and I live in a cat-free home due to allergies. I had no choice but to leave the kittens there. I guess that was traumatic and insane enough to wake me, because the kittens and the bus vanished as I woke.

http://themaxjourney.blogspot.com/2009_11_01_archive.html

This dream was about the frustration of trying to show compassion. 

I teach in a special needs classroom for middle schoolers with severe and moderate special needs. I have a great group of kids, don't get me wrong. I have one who is frustrating. I have struggled with this student all year. I have been bitten, hit, pinched, and spit on while trying to teach this one a routine and how to work in school. I have wonderful assistants who jump in and help as well as teach for me when and where I need them to. I struggle to show compassion towards them when I need to say thank you and that I appreciate them. I struggle to think the student will ever learn compassion and fear that I am not doing what I need to to make a difference for all of my students.

Perhaps the bus part is because I feel I don't control this situation. I pause, I ponder over those kittens. In real life, I ponder over the situations with the student, the classroom dynamic, and the adults and how we handle situations as well as work together. I'm most often a passenger on the bus of life.

I am not in control.

That's okay.

I have cried over this student and the situations I found myself in. I have felt useless, defeated, and underappreciated. Others' opinions have made me see myself as a terrible teacher, terrible friend, and terrible coworker. 

As time went on, I learned that I am better for having experienced these feelings, dealt with them, found that all humans make mistakes, and to simply say thank you. It's okay to teach others to give up some control as well. You can't make students behave the way you want all the time. You can't make adults feel bad about themselves all the time to make yourself feel better about your decisions. Don't push me to fit into your mold. I will not fit. 

Honesty: Who Am I? The Midlife Crisis or The Crossroads

I am not sure I really qualify for the mid-life crisis. I'm not in the middle of my lifespan (I hope). But I have been feeling like I am in the wrong place. Maybe I'm surrounded by the wrong people, or in the wrong town, or have the wrong job.  Feeling "wrong" seems to be a common occurrence among adults. This is why there are so many well-paid speakers out there giving inspirational speeches! I've even talked a little bit with my parents about how I feel. As an adult, the parents no longer really have much to say. This is my ship in the storm to guide, not theirs.

I'm feeling mediocre.

I think I missed the early adulthood phase where you do some major self-discovery and it is finally catching up with me. I was always the good girl doing what was expected of me. I went to college, never partied, had one solid relationship, got married, had kids, and chased after a career. I'm pretty boring. I color inside the lines.

And life is not so bad. It's not always easy nor pretty, and I do get depressed sometimes and happy other times, but it's not fraught with hardships. I have made a life with my husband that meets our needs. It is satisfying. Then again, I am not on any quests, nor adventures, either. I can't complain.

However, I am feeling restless.

So what do I want to do with my life?

I went to college to become a special needs teacher. As I have progressed through this field, struggled to find a job, gone back to college for more training, and am finally working in a position I feel most confident, I constantly second-guess myself. There is always someone out there who can do things in a different and more effective way. I do include those kinds of thinkers on my team and value their input, modeling their styles when I can, but I also feel so dumb and incapable beside them when they share their knowledge with me.

I worked with many kinds of special needs people at all ages. I love when I am able to connect with someone and they do something they've never done before. I like tutoring. I tutor some students with special needs and some without. I think one way I might go is to become an ABA therapist. This is an up and coming field and much more flexible than teaching for locations where you can work. Plus, the work is more of a therapy where one-on-one work is performed. I have always been better at one-on-one.

What I really love to do is write. I didn't know this in my college years. It's nearly too late to go back and take classes. Where could I go with it? This future is cloudy, but also would most likely give me the adventure and freedom I seek.

I've thought about being some kind of speaker, promoting my book, generating interest and dollars and traveling the country. I don't have a topic. What do I have to say? I am passionate about Education, Special Needs, Parenting, Blogging, Love, and Creative Writing. What can I do with this?

If I write a book about these things and promote it, will I be happy?
If I do not, is the next step for me ABA therapy?

My Fatal Flaw

UPDATE

Hi all. I think it's time for an update. You know if I haven't been blogging, it's because I am so busy.
I am teaching full time, flying by the seat of my pants.
I am parenting with my husband two boys who seem to have forgotten how to behave this month.
I am tutoring 2 hours a week a young man with autism in working independently on tasks and reading comprehension, simple grammar, and math.
I am attending a college class online, reading texts and articles and writing papers and forum posts for class.
And the rest of the time is spent trying to debrief and regain my sanity. I facebook stalk. I watch shows on hulu or netflix. I plan.

This post is about working through something I read in my college class. It was an article about stereotypes, labeling, and harm framed through the lens of story telling. Stories are something I know. Story telling is one of my strengths. I was intrigued and interested.

The premise is that when we tell a story about someone who is unable to tell it themselves, we stick to the truth and find the good inside. When we listen to stories repeated by others about others we listen to the underlying truths and find the good inside. If we propagate rumors and embellish stories until all know them as legends, we spread hurtful lies.

The example is a story where an old woman was said to sleep on a mattress stuffed with money. The simple lie was spread around until one night a band of thieves stole into her house and killed her to rip her mattress open and find nothing but feathers.

Similarly, when we tell stories about the 'dumb', 'gay', 'black', 'white', 'fat', 'redneck' people we know, the simple embellishments and rumors we start become huge stereotypes that separate and define people in other's minds. The author especially wants to focus on the made up diagnosis of mental retardation. "Made up?" you ask. But when arbitrary scales of of IQ numbers were set to justify putting individuals in settings for care whom did not receive care, but abuse, the possibility that they could succeed at any level in society was thrown out the window. Now we view them as outcasts. We put them in special classes in school. We don't hire them. We think they need separate treatment. This is also abuse.

Look at Carly Fleischmann, all those with Downs who get married or run businesses, or workers in your community that seem different somehow but they have a job so they must be able enough. You know what I mean. You do it, too. What's their story?

My assignment was to be creative and write a poem or draw something this article inspired. I was not in a poetry mood. I still am not in a poetry mood. But I was in a painting mood. So I designed this:

This is a partial quote from the article. I like it. You will see that I used it above when describing the article.

I want to do this. I DO do this as much as possible. My fatal flaw is being an optimist. Now you know how to defeat me. :)

Note: Wrote a poem anyway

Stories

We seek the truth

Beyond the lies

See the sparkle 

In someone's eyes

As a new skill is learned

A new task completed

Story finished

Enemy defeated