Mental Health: Rest and Organization

I have been exhausted lately. I get home from a stressful day at work and I want to do nothing but watch TV. This doesn't feel healthy.

It's still winter, and the early darkness, everlasting cold, and periods of snow that have wreaked havoc upon school schedules have also created some pent-up aggression in students who need to get out and move, in turn, creating chaos and discipline issues in my job.

(Not my classroom, but at times is has looked like this...)

Mary Kay is starting to look good. Or a career as writer. Or both together. Why did I go into education??

It only takes one student flying off the handle to ruin the tone for the whole day. While I love them all bunches they each have a bad day every once in awhile, some more than others, and when they each take turns, those bad days turn into bad weeks.

It's up to me to create solutions. I reschedule things. I create new lessons. I change plans. I remove items from the room. I intervene earlier, trying to keep the rest of the class going while one student is dealt with. I send emails. I meet with supervisors. Then I get back to the paperwork and daily things that need doing just to keep up.

My body feels the tiredness from the workout of my brain.

So what do I do to chill out and take a mental rest from the grind?

Sometimes I do watch TV. Sometimes I need a hot shower or bath. Usually the drive home, listening to the radio allows me some time to debrief. I can reflect on the day, what worked, and what didn't. I get to plan my evening's homework, which is usually very little because there are so few hours left. I help my children with homework, eat dinner, do my chill out thing, maybe some homework, and then it is bedtime.

There is nothing I need more than rest. I have been googling vacations. Obviously, I desire one.

There is some comfort in a clean, organized space. That kind of space can be a mental breather.
I do not have that right now at home, nor at work, due to time spent catching up. I feel defeated in time management. I can't wait for spring break.

One goal for myself is to organize and clean up one area each day. Whether it be at home or work, I have to get something looking and feeling in control; managed.

Another thing you can do, and I try to do, is to organize your (my) mind. Step one is to take charge of your worry, anger, sadness, and irritation.

I have had to fade some pesky demons in the beginning of this year. I have had to learn when to reach out for support, when to stop kicking myself, and when to accept that I was not solely responsible for the actions of others even if they happen in my space.

The next step is to stop and focus on one thing at a time. I know I get to thinking about several things at once. I have to write them down and then conquer them one by one. Even if it's an email I need to send, a note to a parent to write, or pages to copy, all the little things can build clutter in my mind trying to be be remembered. 

While there are more steps, and you are welcome to click the link, these first two are most important. When juggling family, career, personal obligations and goals, and your health, it is best to keep your health at the forefront. You can't juggle anything if you are sick, tired, or mentally exhausted.

Finding Myself: Heart of Fear to Heart of Focus

I watched "The Middle", the episode where Brick is very worried about all the bad things in the world. It was exaggerated, as all sitcoms are, but at the heart of his dilemma was the fear of not being in control.

This is probably the heart of my fears as well. All the posts about my fears before; the car accidents, the stinging insects, the natural disasters, are all things I cannot control. Just like Brick's fear of a kidnapper or break-in.

I was inspired by what he found to be a solution. His parents didn't understand it, but I did. He said he imagined the extreme; that his house was burnt down and his family were dead and he had nothing left but himself. Then he found a Buddhist quote that he didn't need to worry about things being broken or lost or stolen, because he needed to change his thinking. Things can be imagined broken in the first place. Then, if it happens, it seems like it was meant to be.

At the heart of it all was his life.

At the heart of it all is MY life.

Perspective.

Everything will fall and break at some point in our lives. We will fight with our spouse, have a bad day at work, get in a car accident, or lose our wallet. We can have back-up keys, jot down the numbers to call for identity theft or to get your ID and social security cards re-issued, and be insured so that accidents don't cost us extra and we can get a rental car or know from whom to borrow one. We can check the oven and door locks 6 times before leaving.If something happens, it was not our fault.

As long as I do what I can to keep myself safe, healthy, and happy, then no matter what comes, good and bad, I have done well. I can have pride in myself. I can stop worrying about the material things in my life, but instead focus on being as prepared as possible for tragedy to feel safe. This may not be courage, or bravery, but it is comforting.

That doesn't mean I give up. That doesn't give me a pass to not be my best. It means that I accept that my best is good enough, as good as I can do at the time, and if the goal is not reached, I keep trying. Because those crazy fears about losing things or not being good enough can consume me and sap the energy I need to push myself in all venues of my life. This could be teaching, parenting, working out, or being a good wife. I can't do it all at once, but I can do it all in turns.

I can celebrate the successes I do have, not matter how small. I can count my blessings.

I can focus on the things I can control like:

• Quality of your work/job performance
• Relationships with friends and family
• Household chores
• Income level
• Involvement in your community

While many of you have stopped thinking about your resolutions by now, I find I am still reviewing and rewriting, editing and adding short-term goal steps into mine. Being the best ME I can be includes a shift of focus sometimes.

My 6 year old learned that word, 'focus' this year in school. He says it often to remind himself to do so. Perhaps this is the year of focus for all of us.