Rejuvenation Break

I haven't blogged in a month, but I'm not sorry.

For one, I had a medical procedure done and took some time to recover from that.

But that is not why I did not write.

I wanted July to be about summer break. I didn't go anywhere, didn't do anything exciting, but I also didn't work too hard on school. I worked on writing projects for myself and for a friend. I read some of the books I have in a huge pile on my bookshelf. I hung out with family. I want to go back to school recharged.

This upcoming week is about preparing to go back to school. The first week of August is about arranging classroom furniture, decorating walls, typing up lessons, having spaces for data collection and organization for smooth operating all year.

July was not about that. I did do some research, some lesson planning, some schedule making. But mostly, I took time for myself that did not involve thinking about school.

We all need breaks like that. I had a rough year. I needed a break.

Also, a cat adopted us. Petting a cat and hearing it purr is a nice way to relax. It is staying outside for the most part. We tried the inside thing, but it wasn't working out.

He is a good cat. We named him Schröedinger. Schrodie for short. You never know if he is gonna be right outside the door or not, but he seems to know where his food comes from and comes to you when you call and you can see him. Taking time to pet him is good therapy.

The dog doesn't agree. He thinks the cat is an intruder. He'll get over it.

My mind is in a thousand places right now in preparation for things to come. I needed July. May it be more than just what I needed.

Mental Health: Rest and Organization

I have been exhausted lately. I get home from a stressful day at work and I want to do nothing but watch TV. This doesn't feel healthy.

It's still winter, and the early darkness, everlasting cold, and periods of snow that have wreaked havoc upon school schedules have also created some pent-up aggression in students who need to get out and move, in turn, creating chaos and discipline issues in my job.

(Not my classroom, but at times is has looked like this...)

Mary Kay is starting to look good. Or a career as writer. Or both together. Why did I go into education??

It only takes one student flying off the handle to ruin the tone for the whole day. While I love them all bunches they each have a bad day every once in awhile, some more than others, and when they each take turns, those bad days turn into bad weeks.

It's up to me to create solutions. I reschedule things. I create new lessons. I change plans. I remove items from the room. I intervene earlier, trying to keep the rest of the class going while one student is dealt with. I send emails. I meet with supervisors. Then I get back to the paperwork and daily things that need doing just to keep up.

My body feels the tiredness from the workout of my brain.

So what do I do to chill out and take a mental rest from the grind?

Sometimes I do watch TV. Sometimes I need a hot shower or bath. Usually the drive home, listening to the radio allows me some time to debrief. I can reflect on the day, what worked, and what didn't. I get to plan my evening's homework, which is usually very little because there are so few hours left. I help my children with homework, eat dinner, do my chill out thing, maybe some homework, and then it is bedtime.

There is nothing I need more than rest. I have been googling vacations. Obviously, I desire one.

There is some comfort in a clean, organized space. That kind of space can be a mental breather.
I do not have that right now at home, nor at work, due to time spent catching up. I feel defeated in time management. I can't wait for spring break.

One goal for myself is to organize and clean up one area each day. Whether it be at home or work, I have to get something looking and feeling in control; managed.

Another thing you can do, and I try to do, is to organize your (my) mind. Step one is to take charge of your worry, anger, sadness, and irritation.

I have had to fade some pesky demons in the beginning of this year. I have had to learn when to reach out for support, when to stop kicking myself, and when to accept that I was not solely responsible for the actions of others even if they happen in my space.

The next step is to stop and focus on one thing at a time. I know I get to thinking about several things at once. I have to write them down and then conquer them one by one. Even if it's an email I need to send, a note to a parent to write, or pages to copy, all the little things can build clutter in my mind trying to be be remembered. 

While there are more steps, and you are welcome to click the link, these first two are most important. When juggling family, career, personal obligations and goals, and your health, it is best to keep your health at the forefront. You can't juggle anything if you are sick, tired, or mentally exhausted.

Finding Myself: The Purpose

"The purpose isn't the destination, but the journey." - Allison Vesterbelt

I have spent so much time, years, into answering the question "Who am I?". The answer is always that I am still becoming, still changing, still yearning to fill the wanderlust inside that is chasing my dreams. I grasp at what I long to be. I see a personality trait I wish I had more of. I hear about an adventure I want to take. I see someone having success in an area I want to have success in. I find a fault in my personality I want to correct.

Who Am I?

Even if I take off on a trip to see and experience things I really want to see or experience, while I am on the trip and when I get back, I am still carrying around ME. I can't escape from myself, my quirks, my problems. They will still be there. Going off to 'find myself' isn't a means to an end.

The journey itself can be revelatory.

Life is made up of experiences. Sometimes they are planned, and sometimes they are a surprise.

Every time something interrupts your normal routine; your car breaks down, there is a snow day, you get the flu, how do you react to it? It's part of your journey. Your reactions can be actions. Actions show who we are.

In the reaction, action, or inaction lies the revelation. Who are you? Do you run and hide or stay and fight? Can you handle what life throws at you or do you need to learn to ask for help? Do you stop and smell the roses or pass them by?

When we plan a trip, we often include sights to see and people to visit.

I hardly plan my daily humdrum to include sights to see or people to visit. Do you? It's work, work, work.

What can you plan to give yourself a mental, sensory, or emotional break each week?

Who do you need to plan more time with?

I know I need to plan on ways to spend time with my family and friends. I also need to find ways to have mental breaks in my days so I don't come home and unleash a torrent of misdirected frustration on my family. I also know I need to plan for exercise so I can safely give my body an outlet for stress.

My journey needs to include toleration for the surprise side trips, as well as being able to enjoy the nice surprises and appreciation for when things progress smoothly. Just like flexibility in a good road trip or vacation, my life cannot be so rigid as to avoid opportunities.

The purpose of life is to enjoy the journey.