Overcome Your Fear and JUMP IN!

This little PowerPoint (you will have to click through) gives my three steps to overcoming my fears and taking life by the horns. 

Step One: You need to get curious about your fear. Analyze your thoughts, your location when they happen, who they happen around, and what your react is. Do you leave? Do your palms get sweaty and you become tongue tied? This is like analyzing a setting in your writing. Be descriptive and cover all the senses.

(I used to have a co-worker that I needed to confront. I idolized this person because they had more experience and I went to them for advice. However, I was higher in rank and felt manipulated into their ideas on how things should work. They would get really mad when I tried to do things differently, as was my prerogative as the superior.)

Step Two: If your best friend came up to you and said they were struggling with a fear, you would brainstorm with them, comfort them, and motivate them to try to face it, right? Why don’t you do that for your own fears? Replace your negative thought with positive ones and be grateful for what you do have. Ground yourself in the study of your surroundings, and shift your focus and perspective. Not everyone has this fear.

(I had to think about confronting her and her being angry with me. I did talk about this with another person and learned that they had similar feelings about being manipulated. I didn't feel alone and took comfort in this unity. I began to plan what I would say to her and how I would change the environment in my favor.)

Step Three: Then it’s time to do one small thing to face your fear. Speak up with an introduction, get closer to the thing that scares you. Many times I imagined a situation would turn out worse than it was once I had to face it. The reactions I expected didn’t occur, or they were much milder.

(When I finally confronted her, she was upset with the change I'd made. It worked out that the change was sorta her idea, however it didn't work out the way she wanted. She was put in charge of a group, but didn't get to have lunch break with her favorite conspirator anymore. Would she figure out a way to make this happen, so she could get a lunch break with her again? Probably. Would she figure out a reason to make another change in her favor, possibly. This time, I would be ready. All changes can be undone.)

Note: Since we cannot control everything, we have to let go of the illusion of control. It’s okay to cry, to ask for help, or to shake and tremble as we move closer to the thing we fear. Take deep breaths. Jump In!

(I certainly am in control of this situation, as I am the highest rank in my department. I needed to find unity and support for my actions and decisions in order to go through with them. I needed to gain some perspective on the situation and allow myself to jump in and make changes. I had to admit that not everything in my department was peachy, that I did not have control, in order to gain it back.)

A to Z - "T" is for Travel

Since I am so 'stressed' as my last post mentioned. I need to refocus on getting away from it all!

Travel.

You've read my bucket list, most of my travel plans include the sea and the sand. Any water will do, as I want to do some simple boating as well. A nice forested park with a large lake and some hiking trails in a pinch, but ideally, a getaway is a long anticipated event in which I can leave it all behind for a length of time.

I have 2 concerns, the dog and the culture shock.

Maybe by not having anyone willing to take care of feeding the dog for a length of time, I have procrastinated on really going for a long vacation. Maybe it's that when we talk about it, the hubby and I ultimately end up with some other reason, more financial than pet-related, not to go.

Either way,  the big travel plans have never some to fruition.

Then there is the culture shock of being in a different place with different foods, plants, dangerous insects, accents, mannerisms, and sticker shock. I live in a part of the country with a lower standard of living, so things cost a bit less. Traveling to a bigger place where incomes are higher means everything is priced higher. But enough about money, the culture is just completely different.

Not that different is bad. Far from it. It's just uncomfortable. When you stay in one place your whole life, dreaming big, you often forget those minute details that make a place foreign and not home. When you picture yourself there, you don't picture those cultural and regional things you didn't know existed that make the area distinctly 'not-home'.

These are easy concerns to overcome and deal with. If there is a will, or a plan, there is a way. Embracing a new place can be enlightening. The dog can be boarded if need be. The vacation can be done.

Still, the idea remains daunting, like staring at the open space blow your feet before you jump.

So I am watching Travel documentaries and learning what I can about places that make them seem more universally welcoming and less daunting.

Then I make some more lists of dream destinations. :) If you can think it...



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5 things I'm afraid of

So the challenge to post 5 fears seemed simple enough to tackle tonight and I did. Here's my 5.

1. I am afraid of stinging insects. Namely, bees and wasps. I will duck and run and try not to swat at them and anger them. One summer I was stung by a wasp who had decided my swing set was a great place to build a nest. It hurt a lot. So now I go out of my way to avoid a stinger.

2. I am afraid of a horrible natural disaster happening to me. I've been in tiny earthquakes, hid from a tornado, had my car crushed by straight-line winds, and so far have been spared. But tornadoes, quakes, and other destructive forces are stuff of nightmares.

3. Along the same lines, I'm afraid of accidents. I'm ever vigilant for semis on bald tires, deer that want to leap in front of me, or odd things, like spontaneous combustion. I watch planes flying overhead, thinking about the destruction a crash would cause. If things could suddenly happen because I had simply thought of them, I'd have died or caused the deaths of many people! I guess being vigilant means I am defensive and avoid all scenarios that could result in dangerous situations, but actually I'm a klutz and hardly think things through, especially when at home. I bet I die in some sort of freak home accident!

4. I'm afraid of peeping toms. The thought that someone is maliciously watching me with glowing red scooby-doo-cartoon eyes through the window gives me the willies. It's only when I'm alone in a dark room that I feel this way. I blame TV. I get this weird exposed feeling in my back and desire to protect it by turning so my back is to a wall or against a surface. This usually means I am looking at the windows though. Which is conducive to imagining those eyes, and makes me breathe faster and also move faster. I used to close my eyes and make a run for it, just to get to the lit rooms with other people.

5. I am also afraid of losing the people I love. Sometimes I forget how fragile life is. I take for granted seeing my children, kissing my husband, hugging my parents. I fear the financial burden with the logical part of my brain, and the loss and grief with the emotional side. I do try to make memories with my family. But in the end, it won't be quite the consolation I'll need.

Side note: whenever I dream of tornadoes, I also dream of my grandma. I guess she is my comfort, or guardian in my dream. I always look to her for shelter. I haven't dreamed of them in a long time, which must mean my life is not in turmoil right now..??