Hesitation

When my Dad was teaching me how to drive one day, he said "If you hesitate, don't go." So if I were trying to judge if I had time to pull out onto the road before that big truck got to me and I hesitated in my decision, I'd better just stay put and wait until the next available opening.

Have I been honked at for waiting? Yes. But I bet it has saved my life more times than those times I slammed the pedal to the floor and raced to get out.

I have only had two accidents in my driving career. Both were in the city, where impatient drivers and split decisions make driving stressful. The first accident was caused by a blocked roadsign. The second, I hesitated and did not stay still. I went for it. I listened to a frantic, impatient driver who was waving me through instead of my gut instinct and Dad's advice.

I realized today that this is a metaphor for my life. If I hesitate I don't go. If I don't hesitate I go all the way, barreling through obstacles whether its easier to go around or not. I'm an all or nothing kind of girl, but I tend to error on the side of hesitation.

And it has probably saved my life more times than barreling through it.

I WANT ONE!

I have seen something like this before, if anyone can find more, send them my way! But this is Laurie Halse Anderson's writing cottage.
Yes, put this on my bucket list, please.

I Love Fall

I LOVE FALL!!

I LOVE FALL!! Did I mention that? Here is my measly harvest of various gourds.

I just love trees.
The sassafras turns early, it is one of my favorite trees, and has great colors.

Kip likes the fall too. :) His eyes turn colors!
Sunset behind the barn; I just like how this turned out.
Grr..... Annihilate those beans!
Brand plug! I just thought the rusty farm truck had character..
And I leave you with flowers and tires, because I love to think about nature thriving no matter what the environment is polluted with.. making dull things beautiful.

Frustrated and Morose

I've been rather morose, not really in a blogging mood. I have been restless with my life as well, thinking about choices and options. There's not much I want to say about it now, but I think change in in the air.

So you haven't missed much in the life of Me. I subbed two days down south of here, learned that there is an additional hoop to jump through to get back into subbing in this county, and quit my online tutoring job that was leaving me in the dust.

I've been working on a novel with a colleague, and also one with my aunt. I took a pic of the kids last Saturday who wanted to help my brother test drive a little four wheeler he was paid to fix.Don't worry, no injuries occurred, he drove slow enough.

Today is a birthday party for my nephew that I will get some pics from. Nana said "I want all the parents to have fun too." And I said, "Hey, if other people are there to watch my kids, I will."

I've been frustrated at having stayed home with them all summer, but especially these past weeks. Why? I just need to get away sometimes from the 24 hour job of being mommy and housewife.

Here's what I wrote about it...

Robbed of moisture, the flower droops.
Light petals once soft and pliable are now brittle and dry.
The bright color long faded to dark hues of its former glory.
Gravity pulls the weighty head down and tugs petals loose from the stem.
The flower is spent.
Dry crumbly flakes fall like tears, forgotten memories of days past.

Such a short existence,
fleeting beauty,
gone before its time,
plucked,
fragrant,
then spoiled.

What does the flower think of itself?
Is it proud to have given itself for a cause?
Or does it feel it’s life was wasted and cut short?

Gravity pulls the weighty head down and tugs petals loose from the stem.
The flower is spent.

Jesi

In memory of my friend Jesi Young, I dedicate this bouquet. I happened to photograph it the day before she left us, the day the bad news came.

Jesi spoke to me only through a chat window. But it was enough to get to know her.

She was bubbly and crazy in love and lived life recklessly, throwing all inhibition to the wind. She knew how to let down her hair, to enjoy every moment of every day.

Let us not forget her "do what you love" spirit.

She encouraged others with her words, laying on the love thick, gluing us all together in paper mache, we the torn papers who often felt insignificant. She crafted us into something beautiful.

Let us improvise with creativity to make even the worst moments in life gleam with color and light.

She was a beautiful person and true to herself.

I will miss you. (who's gonna tell me what E-J says and does when he's in the other room?)

Today's Humbling Thought

I was walking through the house, carrying items that needed putting away, when I stepped on something small and hard. Not being able to check it out right away, I walked to my destination and laid down my parcels. I turned to look behind me, but misjudging the distance I had traveled, missed the item on the floor, at first.

This made me think. We don't always realize how far we've come until we take the time to look back;

both in the literal, and metaphorical sense.

How far have you come, my friends? How far have I come? I certainly have learned my share of lessons! Literally I haven't traveled far, but metaphorically, I may have influenced people all over the world.

That's a humbling thought.

For my Internet Friends

Some days you need some girl time. The estrogen just overrides every brain synapse with desires to try on new fashions, hairstyles, annoy sales ladies, spend money, and eat an entire carton of chunky monkey with two spoons; one for you and one for your best friend.

But instead you find yourself, keys in hand, walking to the mall courtyard solo and sitting with a sub sandwich watching all the other estrogen overloaded brains giggle and blow a few hundred bucks. The world is looking pretty big and ready to swallow you up as a statistic.

Thank goodness for the internet. There, you can get to know the most awesome people from around the globe. It makes the world seem small again. It's good to know there's someone out there who also makes lonely trips to the mall and eats ice cream by the carton every once in awhile. And you two can share stories, lives, pictures, hopes, dreams, and bond over the distance as strongly as a face to face deal. You can have your tiffs, your misunderstandings, and make-ups just the same as if you lived in the same town. Friendship-love knows no bounds.

Best of all, it makes the possible reunion all the more sweeter. :) Because you will grow to love them like family and would fight as fiercely for them as for anyone who lives closer. If you ever did meet them, the hugs would be real, and so would the tears.


Here's a poem for you!

Friends
Not the TV show
The people you know

Who care about you
And your life

Friends
Who love you anyway
Fight for you any day

Who argue with you
And take offense

Friends
Who come back and say
They still love you anyway

And your friendship grows
Much deeper

Friends
May live near or far
Would take boat, train, or car

To see that you have
A good day

Friends
More valuable than gems
Worth more than the world of men

Because they love you
As you do them

A New Home For Turtle

This tale begins with a turtle who was injured, taken from her home by force, and in need of some care.
This is the lake where she will today, over one year later, find her new home.
Doesn't she look much better now? She sniffs the air. I think she knows there are other turtles here and lots of bite-sized fish.
At first she was a little nervous, smelling the new scents and testing out the sun...
But she soon found her legs and headed for the murky waters.
It was a bit rough going in, the algae was hair-like and thick.
She made herself a pocket.
She decided to turn around, and I helped her get out of the mess and get moving in teh right direction.
She pushed her way further out. There was no way I could reach her now. She was free and on her own.

I hope she is happy out there.Good bye!

Back In The Saddle Again

A friend said I wasn't living up to my potential as a writer. We all have doldrums, low spots, uninspired moments. I wrote some depressing things.. I thought, 'at least I'm practicing'. But I didn't give up. I took the challenge.

Finding inspiration from oneword.com I wrote a vivid piece with more description.

Alert

The siren wailed, ringing through my skull violently. The alarm sent shivers down my spine. My flesh goosepimpled. I wondered if I would ever get used to this.

I did not want to awaken, but bolted from my tiny bed, the light stinging my eyes, cramping my optic nerves. My tired legs protested the run to the brass pole, which I promptly slid down to the garage below.

My calluses screamed as I stuffed my feet into stiff rubber boots. It didn’t matter how thick your socks were if you had been traipsing all day through rivulets of ash laden water. I pulled my suspenders on, shoulders aching from carrying hose after hose, emptying tanker truck after tanker truck just to keep the monsterous blaze at bay.

The coat felt heavy with the burden of saving lives. It may be a cherished mantle, but I was beginning to wonder if I wanted the honor of carrying it. I grabbed onto the handle and hoisted myself onto the giant red behemoth. The wind snapped my face like a wet towel. Soon I saw a glow.

And finally, I was alert.

A Soggy Fourth and 150th post

It's pretty hard to go swimming when the rain doesn't stop. The fireworks were postponed until tomorrow. Le sigh. So I brought a tired child home who played really well with his cousins today.

Here's a shot of the sopping wet rugs and the drippy chairs, because the pool scene doesn't show you the incessant rain.

There is some beauty here though. If all I had to do was curl up in a comfy chair with a good book, I would. It's the kind of rain where you pull out a family game, do recycled material crafts, and have your kids help you bake goodies. It's a cooling rain, soothing, great for napping.

Good thing it's a holiday!

This is also my 150th post and I wanted to do something special.

Where Poets Come From: A Poem

Behind the gossamer curtain
Beneath the azure veil
You’ll find a quiet beauty
In exquisite detail

You’ll hold your breath to gaze upon it
You’ll take in the scents with your eyes
The scene beheld is beyond words
Sweet music touches the skies

Poetry is wild here
Growing hither and thither
There inside this hollowed ground
A single flower withers

The dried petals wisk away
And a tear is shed for its loss
That single drop ingredient
Births a poet from the moss

Nostalgia: Flip Over Pets

YAPPY DOG!

I had one of these as a kid. I loved it! When we moved, it mysteriously disappeared. I later told my Mom I had missed it. She found this one for me and gave it to me as a surprise gift. Believe it or not, I was thrilled with the trip down memory lane and my oldest son was a toddler at the time. So I set it up and he was tickled. I almost enjoyed his extreme laughter of pure amusement every time it flipped over more than my own memories.

So my husband, highly amused by my exuberance over the most annoying toy in the universe, and probably worried about my sanity, showed me this comic:

http://wondermark.com/guest-carly/

I think this is how he expected me to react in my adult human form.

The sad thing is I have patience for annoying things like this, and I can tolerate the yapping a lot longer than most adults. So I was still smiling at my son's enjoyment, and my own memories, long after he was pulling out his hair and yelling , "Ok, OK! Shut it OFF! NOW!"

Silly Hubby, flippy dog is for kids!

Book Review

picture by Amazon

I finished Crushed this week. And let me tell you, I liked it better than Zipped. This book mixes high school love triangles, high school cliques, mystery, physics, German, French, and economics all into one! It was intelligently and masterfully pieced together. I knew when I set the goal to finish this book, I was going to read straight through the end, and left myself a whole Sunday evening.

I love that you learn something when you read their books. This one is especially chock full of facts and details. They also know their cars!

I love that each chapter has a creative title, though not as creative as Zipped.

I love the intricacies of the characters. Each one is round, complete with secrets. If you pay attention, you can solve the mystery in the story way before the protagonist does, however it took me a little longer to pick up on the clues this time. Which made for a better read, actually. A predictable book is a turn-off.

Here is a much better review with a summary attached for you to peruse if you are interested in this book. I am not a very good book reviewer because I hate to give ANYTHING away, so my review is quite lacking in facts.

Now I'm on to something else on my shelf!

Ficly Poem: Size Matters

If I were taller..

I could reach the second shelf in the cabinets
I could dunk a basketball
I could write at the top of the chalkboard

I could hoist a child on my shoulders for a better view
I could shop in the Misses section
I could drive all models of vehicles comfortably

But I’d have a good view of the dirt on top of the fridge
I’d have to duck under low door frames
And people would always ask me to get things down

I would miss being able to rescue a terrified kid from the McDonald’s Playland
I would miss reaching into small spaces
I would miss climbing onto the roof of the van to strap down luggage

I couldn’t rest my head on my hubby’s chest near his heart
I couldn’t fit in the tent with my kids
I couldn’t grow anymore anyway, so I guess,

I’ll stay short

Doodle the Moon

The boys and I sat down to draw. I was inspired by artquiltmaker's challenge: moon.
I don't have the shading right at all. I admit that. But hey, I tried. :) I also added some color to it for emphasis. It adds to the fire, and I kind of like the colored letters, however they could be darker. I put in the words so I could visually 'hear' my picture. Can you spot the owl? Can you hear it?

Book Review 'Zipped'

I have read Zipped by Laura and Tom McNeal. I picked it up on the clearance rack along with another of the duo's books, Crushed which I am reading now. I picked them up on a whim, but have not been disappointed.

Zipped is about Mick, a teenage boy who has a great step-mom, who he soon finds out is having an affair. Feeling betrayed, he seeks solace in an unusual place, a college girl. He also gets a job where his crush also works. Lisa soon realizes she has feelings for Mick that are a cool simmer compared to the flame she holds for the inaccessible Mormon hottie, Elder Keesler. To add to this twisted tale, we have Lisa's best friend who falls for the two-faced manager at the kids' work. This is a tale of love, trust, and betrayal. When the plot heated up and the secrets unraveled, I couldn't put this book down. It was suspenseful, only I found the greatest mystery a bit predictable; there were many great clues along the way. So I give it a 4 1/2 of 5 stars on the chick lit scale. The best parts, however, were the chapter headings!

doodle

I drew my turtles today. I'm hoping you can click on this and enlarge it. My littlest was amused by this and had me draw him a turtle in his sketchbook too. The oldest was already doing a swimming pool scene in his sketchbook, so he added a turtle to his picture. Yes, I bought us matching sketchbooks so we could all sketch in peace with no jealous screams. :)

A Ficly

Helen's Sunday

She’d visited the cemetery every Sunday after church. It was right across the road. The grass had grown in this spring over the turned earth. She’d told him all about Clyde Wilcox making eyes at her during service and complimenting her dress.

She rode back to her home in Margie’s car.

“Come with me to Bingo, Helen! You need to get out of that house more than twice a week.”

“Marge. I don’t feel like it. Not yet. I don’t want their eyes on me.”
Margie sighed and gave up this time.

Helen climbed her front steps slowly and unlocked the door to a stale house. A small mewing made her stop. A tiny kitten clung to a branch of one of her tall bushes.

She took it inside and gave it a dish of milk. “Where’s your family, huh?” she sighed.
“You need someone to look after you for a while.” The kitten licked its face and then curled up in her lap for a nap. The soft purring soothed Helen’s loneliness.

“You’re quite a charmer, much better than Clyde!” she joked. Her heart warmed a little. She thought about Bingo.

I ran out of room to elaborate on her thought at the end. But I think I got my point across.

Creative Classroom

I find this inspiring!
My son's kindergarten teacher transforms her classroom into a Caribbean Vacation for the last two weeks of school. Combined volunteer hours on this project was 40. And she stores all the table cloths, decorations, and umbrellas in totes. My pictures don't do it justice! The lights are covered in different swags of color, fish hang from the ceiling, tropical table cloths are stapled on the walls like wall paper.These pictures were taken during a parent's visit time, can you tell?

The pirate ship was my favorite part. This area of the room is already a play area. She just covered the railings with brown paper. The toy pirate ship and shark are a nice touch!This was the water area, a favorite among the students. It was dyed blue. She also had a market with real Caribbean money, a sand station, and many others. The tables were pushed together and covered with carpet so that a "stage" was made. There was a child-size table with umbrella and chairs up there, the kind for outdoors. They learned beach songs and memorized lines for a little show. It was adorable!

Now, wouldn't you love to do something like this?

Blind

Jotted down a story today about Light versus Darkness, in the literal sense.

Blind

When the lights were on, life was vibrant. The people danced, colors swirled, music blared and smiles shone as bright as the glitter and sequins.

The night was dark, but after the club closed we drove around, the crew attempting to keep the party going in the car. We belted out lyrics, clinking bottles together, whooping and hollering. Still smiling.

Then the lights went out. The darkness was so complete. The singing stopped, the smiles were gone, the colors vanished. All that was left was pitch black darkness and pain. My ears rang for a long time. My head swam in the oblivion, trying to find something that made sense.

I heard sounds as the ringing stopped, whimpering sounds, but it was only me. And the darkness remained. It covered me, held me gently, and frightened me. I called out, but the darkness swallowed my pleas.
“Can you hear me?”

“Yes!”

“Where am I? I can’t see anything!”

“You were in an accident. We’re going to remove the gauze now.”

Brilliant white light invaded the dark. I gasped.

I hope this inspires you to write a little about light, dark, both, or opposites in general. :)

Okay, This is Beyond Doodling!!

The creative prompt was 'tree'. I don't know where this came from. I dug out my sketchbook and drawing pencils, yes, drawing pencils (!) and tried to get the kids to sit beside me and draw as well.

I originally drew the tree in the middle sans leaves, getting the shape down, then I bypassed adding leaves and went to the fir on the right, adding needles. Then I drew the Birch tree bark close-up, and my left brain said 'winter', and my right brain okay, we don't need leaves anyway, and the footprints in the snow, the smooth horizon line, and the textures came out. Lastly a dim sun peeked out. I guess it's too dim for shadows... The bottom right corner is supposed to be a frozen lake or pond.

What do you think?

Spring Pics, Another Doodle, and.. Lemons??

Yes, I went out taking nature pics again! I had to get a picture of the first iris!






While I was out, my brother told me where I could get a great picture of baby blue robin's eggs.









These beauties are nestled on the bean head for the combine! Birds love to build nests on farm implements!

And here's another doodle I did...
























So the top is all cheery and happy, with flowers and birds and butterflies, but the bottom is dark and foreboding, with the dragon disguised as a nature scene. I guess I was thinking about things that seem great on the outside, but are really lemons. Like the test I was giving at the time; it seems all beneficial, but the data will be used in a very cruel way. You know what I mean, it was THAT test.

What things come to your mind when you hear the word "lemon", meaning something that has a great outside, but is only a cover for the truly rotten core inside?

Anniversary; Blogiversary

Today is my anniversary. Yes that's right, 7 years ago I married my best friend. He's put up with my occasional attitudinal PMS, pregnancy hormones (twice), misunderstandings, and bouts of slap happy humor for 10 years now.

How do we make it work? Communication, compromise, and humor. My mother bought us a card that says "to the couple like no otter" with otters on the front, but the pun is true. It's not everyday you find a couple like us.

We still are best friends. We love to do things together. We still argue or debate, but it never is really serious. We agree on disciplining the children, we share in the chores, we support each other, and most importantly we talk out our concerns, feelings, and problems.

You're thinking, oh just wait, something will come up and you'll have a big fight.

Well, once I made him so mad, he drove off to avoid doing something he'd regret. And there have been moments I've broken down in tears over issues, most often personal. But things always work out. That doesn't matter. What matters is that we connect on an intellectual level.


On another note: It is also my Blogiversary. And I'm happy to report I received a nice surprise gift! I won Violette's contest! (see doodle entry below). I am really kind of humbled, though. This is just too nice!

Spring Arrives on the Farm

After all the rain we've had, I knew I could get some nice nature photos today. So I did.


I call this one Spring On The Farm. Too bad I couldn't get some flowers prettier than dandelions to shoot! I like the juxtaposition of the tire.



What's more Spring-like than a nest of eggs? These are house wren eggs, we think. They are in a nest built inside a plastic bag in the old milk-house. The nest is right beside my Dad's toolbox. Imagine his surprise when he reached for a tool and the Momma bird flew in his face! True story.



This babbling brown brook is actually a ditch, but I walked beside it trying to find salamanders, craw-dads (crayfish), or toads. I did see one toad, but was too slow to get a picture. This photo doesn't do the ditch justice. I find babbling brooks peaceful and calming. In fact, babbling brooks make my Top Ten Favorite Sounds list. :P





Can you spot the tiny butterfly? There were several butterflies out today around the dandelions, violets, goldenrod, and other miscellaneous weeds that have flowered. I was kind of surprised, but I forgot how early spring came this year.






The next two pics are buds from flowers, perennials, planted around the yard. The first is a white peony, it starts kind of pink, but turns white later.


And this one is a lavender Iris. Last year I transplanted these bulbs and they didnt' flower, so I'm excited that they have stabilized and will flower this year! I have found some more bulbs in the ditch and plan on transplanting them sometime this year. How they got in the ditch, I haven't the foggiest..




I had fun taking pictures, can you tell? There are a few more, but I think these are enough for now. :P
Enough natural Zen!