Goal: Intentionally Teaching Children to "Pay It Forward" in 2015 and Being Their Example

I have a keyword tag for it, I mention it, but do I really "pay it forward"?

Paying it forward means being kind to others without expecting anything back in return.

I researched ways to pay it forward, to find lists of ideas and compare my deeds to those suggestions.
I hold the door open for people, donate clothes to goodwill, recycle, and sometimes let people cut in line in front of me at the store or in traffic. I admit sometimes. This past year I did volunteer at the MS Walk in September. I enjoyed that.

I have to admit, a few of the acts of kindness made me cringe, "Oh, I couldn't do that!" Where did that attitude come from? I should embrace some of those as a challenge. Things like buying stuff specifically to donate; pet food, clothes, food. Food is the easiest. It is the cheapest! Man, I'm a tight-wad.

My goal is to not only consider ways to Be Kind everyday, but to DO something outside of my comfort zone to intentionally help others.

Moreover, I need to teach my students and my own children to be kind. After some more research, I saw that there wasn't a singular list I liked for teaching children, so I made my own.

At school:

• Smile at someone who seems to be having a rough day
• Carry books for someone on crutches
• Compliment someone, tell them they played a great game, painted a nice picture, or wore great shoes
• Hold the door for someone behind you
• Take found items to Lost and Found, even money.

In the Community:

• Put shopping carts back in the cart corral
• Bake and take cookies to local fire and police stations with thank you cards
• Hold a Teddy Bear and Friends drive and donate to police and fire stations. If they have a kid in distress, they would love to have a stuffed animal to give them!
• Take cards, Valentine's, or notes to local nursing homes
• Donate clothes, toys, to daycares, charity, or to a family whose house burned down.
• Donate items to the local humane shelter, maybe even volunteer there or foster a pet
• Give cookies and thank yous to your local postal workers
• Pay for someone's drink or toll behind you from a coin jar you and your kids save change in
• Allow a person with a few items in line in front of you
• Shop with your child for canned goods that you then donate together to the local food bank
• Teach your children how to greet strangers. "Hello" and a smile from a sweetie might make their day.
• Encourage them, if old enough, to use freerice.com. It donates rice to hungry people while your child learns new things.
• Live in a tourist trap? Offer to take photos for people and families struggling to get into a selfie.
• Put coupons you don't need on community bulletin boards. Share coupons for restaurants with others in the restaurant that you don't use.
• Take found items to Lost and Found. It is not always 'Finders Keepers'.
• Many churches do wonderful things to help others. Find out what your church is doing and jump in!

At Home:

• LISTEN! Listen to your kids without trying to fix anything, without adding to their stories, without trying to change the subject. They will learn to listen to their friends and others without judging, too.
• Pick up litter in a local park, along your street, or in an open space nearby regularly. Recycle cans.
• If you don't recycle, do. Kids can help separate and take bags of items to the recycling center, or out to the curb.
• Donate books you no longer read. Schools, libraries, paperback exchanges, and other places like jails or prisons will take books. Call first, though. Find out what programs your town has. There are also some online.
• Donate old towels to the humane shelter
• Leave inspiring notes for each other. (or love notes)
• Mow the neighbor's lawn
• Put out bird feeders or fresh bird baths in winter. 

For More Ideas:
My Pinterest Be Kind Board
Kindspring
For Teachers and Schools
Rants From Mommyland: Kids Can Volunteer - These are divided by age groups
109 Acts of Kindness you can start doing today

Generosity: Small Steps

I recently read 'Five Practices of A Fruitful Congregation', technically AFTER my church did, but I digress. Many of the beginning Practices outlined in the book I have mastered, and still do. But much like my health triangle, my Practices triangle is a bit obtuse. (We have a graphic posted in our church of the Five Practices and it makes a triangle)

Anyway, the point is, I'm not Generous!

So I tried to begin today. I made 10 copies of a Thank You card on Word and signed them and handed them out at school to the 10 teachers and aides I work with.

Firstly, I made them with all good intentions. I have a very hard time saying thank you when it is needed. I just sometimes think my gratitude is implied. Why I think that, I have no idea, and it has gotten me in trouble in the past.

Thus, when I got to school, part of me wanted to pretend I hadn't made them and just end the year in silence. I didn't get to write in a personal note to each one. They were not store bought or fancy or really special. They felt weak, and I began to get embarrassed.

But I decided to push through, covertly handing out two cards on teacher's desks who were out of the room. Then I wandered to another classroom and did the same. I was feeling better, like a Secret Santa, on some mission of behind-the-scenes gifting. I enjoy doing things to make people feel good that I don't have to own up to.

In the third classroom, the teacher was present. CONFRONTATION! I began to feel my cheeks grow red and I planned my attack. Swoop in, look at floor, say a phrase to make little of the gesture, exit.

Surprisingly, the teacher said, "Oh you are so kind! Usually people hate me because I yell at them."

Floored, I began to wonder how many times she was thanked in her life. I had to reply. I made a lighthearted comment. "It comes with the territory!" So true. I meant that the students she has are often difficult, but I guess that could go for staff, too.. I considered this. Then I stopped considering it because that would require me to cast judgment on the other faculty. That only causes trouble. I do wish this teacher would praise the students more, however that's a style difference.

I then handed out the rest of my cards in person, with the phrase "I made a little thank you card for everyone." I received small thanks in return, as is custom and polite. It was all over. I finished my lunch.

I should sum this up by stating something that I learned, but I won't. I did it. I stepped out of my comfort zone a tiny bit and have a tiny story about it. Nothing huge happened, no vast emotional bridges were crossed and burned, and I don't feel a strong sense of accomplishment.

This is just a stepping stone. Let's hope I keep taking small steps like this because one day I will be able to turn back and say 'See how far I've come?'


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Uplifting Song for Valentine's

Since OuterHoard's comment to the previous post indicated that this song was about his impression of me, and since I've been so open with you about who I am in the 30 days of blogging pieces in January, I feel confident in posting this.


THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED (Coleman and Bartle, Sunrise After Tilling)
-----------------------

My friend walks the road less traveled
An unsealed road of discipline
She's sometimes led and sometimes driven
Sometimes hungry, sometimes fed
While we, the many, walk a highway
Lit so bright it must be true
She walks lanes that too few enter
Where tiny lanterns dot the gloom.

My friend turned her back on power
She chose another mobility
She finds peace in smaller places
For weakness is the source of grace
While we, the many, ask for praises
Through pride we're watered, so we grow
She avoids the kiss of culture
Down into the silence goes.

My friend walks a track that's stony
An uphill climb to God knows where
Sometimes she's touched by an ache so poignant
Sometimes she's driven to despair
While we, the many, skirt the painful
We, the many, anaesthetise
My friend looks, she seeks her darkness
She digs to find the better prize.


I think this song is saying a lot. And on days like Valentine's, we need to hear things that uplift us and make us feel special. It's nice to think that all the digging and despair is getting me somewhere; that it makes me a unique individual, the hardships mold me. Thoughts like that can give a girl strength.

I hope this song has reminded you to keep trudging through to reach the prize.



This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

How Have I Changed In The Past 2 years?

Day 22: How Have You Changed in the past 2 Years?

I went back to read over my first blogs here on this site. Wow. Some of them are so embarrassing.. I deleted a few posts. *cheeks burn with shame*

It's obvious I have matured as a writer, as well as a mom and wife, by reading back over those. In 3 years, this blog hasn't had much of a purpose but to share a little bit of my life with you. Though I was disappointed in the scattered content at first, I realized that's just me, and I'm not going to change. While I do have ideas for future posts, they are going to be a varied as the songs my soul sings.

In the past 2 years I have:

• owned 3 vehicles
  
• gained one dog
  
• been a wild turtle rescuer
  
• had some great and not so great teaching experiences
  
• been published
  
• made some new friends and said good-bye to others
• bought a house!!!!!
  

Some of my views about the world have been tested and opinions solidified: issues in education and gay/lesbian rights, specifically.

Reading back over my blogs, many of the laments I had about my job are now reminders of lessons learned. Some things never change, and others are just hallmarks to avoid in the future. I am just as hard-headed, and at times impulsive, as ever, still sometimes falling for the same lines, making the same mistakes. Maturity means I'm either recovering quicker, or stopping myself before it gets too far.

One thing that stands out to me: I had forgotten what my son was like at 5 and 6. Remembering his behaviors is a warning to me about what's to come with the younger one! Maybe history won't repeat itself, but as humans, we tend to go through the same struggles at the same ages.


But most importantly, all the bad stuff that shaped me seems to dissipate, the hurt feelings numbed by time. It's the good things I remember most.



This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.