Goal: Intentionally Teaching Children to "Pay It Forward" in 2015 and Being Their Example

I have a keyword tag for it, I mention it, but do I really "pay it forward"?

Paying it forward means being kind to others without expecting anything back in return.

I researched ways to pay it forward, to find lists of ideas and compare my deeds to those suggestions.
I hold the door open for people, donate clothes to goodwill, recycle, and sometimes let people cut in line in front of me at the store or in traffic. I admit sometimes. This past year I did volunteer at the MS Walk in September. I enjoyed that.

I have to admit, a few of the acts of kindness made me cringe, "Oh, I couldn't do that!" Where did that attitude come from? I should embrace some of those as a challenge. Things like buying stuff specifically to donate; pet food, clothes, food. Food is the easiest. It is the cheapest! Man, I'm a tight-wad.

My goal is to not only consider ways to Be Kind everyday, but to DO something outside of my comfort zone to intentionally help others.

Moreover, I need to teach my students and my own children to be kind. After some more research, I saw that there wasn't a singular list I liked for teaching children, so I made my own.

At school:

• Smile at someone who seems to be having a rough day
• Carry books for someone on crutches
• Compliment someone, tell them they played a great game, painted a nice picture, or wore great shoes
• Hold the door for someone behind you
• Take found items to Lost and Found, even money.

In the Community:

• Put shopping carts back in the cart corral
• Bake and take cookies to local fire and police stations with thank you cards
• Hold a Teddy Bear and Friends drive and donate to police and fire stations. If they have a kid in distress, they would love to have a stuffed animal to give them!
• Take cards, Valentine's, or notes to local nursing homes
• Donate clothes, toys, to daycares, charity, or to a family whose house burned down.
• Donate items to the local humane shelter, maybe even volunteer there or foster a pet
• Give cookies and thank yous to your local postal workers
• Pay for someone's drink or toll behind you from a coin jar you and your kids save change in
• Allow a person with a few items in line in front of you
• Shop with your child for canned goods that you then donate together to the local food bank
• Teach your children how to greet strangers. "Hello" and a smile from a sweetie might make their day.
• Encourage them, if old enough, to use freerice.com. It donates rice to hungry people while your child learns new things.
• Live in a tourist trap? Offer to take photos for people and families struggling to get into a selfie.
• Put coupons you don't need on community bulletin boards. Share coupons for restaurants with others in the restaurant that you don't use.
• Take found items to Lost and Found. It is not always 'Finders Keepers'.
• Many churches do wonderful things to help others. Find out what your church is doing and jump in!

At Home:

• LISTEN! Listen to your kids without trying to fix anything, without adding to their stories, without trying to change the subject. They will learn to listen to their friends and others without judging, too.
• Pick up litter in a local park, along your street, or in an open space nearby regularly. Recycle cans.
• If you don't recycle, do. Kids can help separate and take bags of items to the recycling center, or out to the curb.
• Donate books you no longer read. Schools, libraries, paperback exchanges, and other places like jails or prisons will take books. Call first, though. Find out what programs your town has. There are also some online.
• Donate old towels to the humane shelter
• Leave inspiring notes for each other. (or love notes)
• Mow the neighbor's lawn
• Put out bird feeders or fresh bird baths in winter. 

For More Ideas:
My Pinterest Be Kind Board
Kindspring
For Teachers and Schools
Rants From Mommyland: Kids Can Volunteer - These are divided by age groups
109 Acts of Kindness you can start doing today

The Last 10 Years

A friend of mine posted on facebook that he was glad to see a year with a 5 in it. The last time we had a year with a 5 in it was 10 years ago.

I began to think back 10 years.

2005

It was 3 years before I started to blog.

The husband and I took an official honeymoon in March on a shoestring budget to Niagara Falls and Toronto. We left the 2 year old in the care of my parents and brother. We stayed in the cheapest hotel and only spent money on food. It was cold and the Maid of the Mist wasn't running. There was ice on the falls. We enjoyed being tourists, but the only attraction we could afford was one of the arcades. This was the highlight of my year. It was the first thing that popped into my head when I thought of the year '05.

I graduated from college in May. This was not the first thing that popped into my head, because I didn't attend my college graduation. I didn't want to sit through the speeches alone. My family would not be attending. It wasn't a big deal.

How you do homework with a toddler

We moved back to our home city to be near family. It was an old house we rented near a big college football stadium. It was okay except for fall homecoming. Band music, cheering, lights, drunken college kids; not my thing. I'd just left that behind. In fact, I never went to any homecoming in high school or college. Sports are not my thing.

I worked that summer taking care of adults with special needs in a group home, driving for an hour to the location. Later, I would switch companies to be closer to home.

I missed the window for interviewing in this county's school system and began to substitute teach in the fall. I picked up a job right away as an education assistant working one-on-one with a boy in a wheelchair. I enjoyed this job. I enjoyed working in the group homes, too, even though it was much harder and much more stressful. I feel...useful, fulfilled, knowing I am helping people.

Sometime in that year I think I made homemade applesauce. I don't even like applesauce. I think my son ate most of it.

In the winter, we filed for bankruptcy when our house didn't sell. We took care of some stupid debt mistakes, including surrendering my car which we were paying too much for. It was a rough time of learning, growing up, and being adults. I think the next 2 years were even rougher, though. Maybe even the next 7 years.

It was a rough year, one of lessons learned.

2005 was the beginning of rock bottom. I was whiny, insecure, immature, couldn't see my dreams through all the stormy clouds of life. I deleted most of those blog posts from '08 and '09 and '10, etc. They were embarrassing, or too revealing; unprofessional.

2014 was a pretty good year compared to '12 and '13. It started a little rough, with my learning what it was like to have a difficult student and feeling like a failure. I graduated from the next phase of my college classes. I put that Spring semester behind me and jumped into a new school year with both feet. I redesigned my classroom, my schedule, and rejoiced in the new challenges that would come. I felt ready, but still armored up with the knowledge that things could change at any moment.

And here it is, 2015.

I bought a new planner and organized my time into it. I set a time for workouts, for lesson planning, for dinner, for me-time, for date time, for writing time, and for homework. I know things will happen to interrupt my planned schedule, but having things planned gives me freedom to accept those changes.

It also helps me set goals. My family now knows I workout at 5. They encourage me not to miss it. Having a set time frees me up to choose how to spend it. I can Wii Zumba, use the elliptical and do some bodyweight exercises, or punch the new punching bag in my living room. (The boys are loving that punching bag, by the way.) I can decide if I want a cardio day, a strength day, a stretching day, a dance day, or a mix-of-whatever day. One day the weather will be nice again and I can start biking, walking the dog, jogging, and outside exercises.


The expert say to take small steps to reach a goal. They say to set goals. Setting a time for a workout and planning my day is a small, but very important step to achieving something awesome.

When I thought back to that weekend trip in 2005, I also recalled that we wanted to take the boys there on a vacation someday. We've been talking a lot about that elusive word, 'vacation', and how it compares to 'trip'. I am hoping that my new scheduling/organizing skills will spill over to saving skills and more wise choices that result in a 'trip' or a 'vacation' or both.

Hey, gas prices are back down to the same that they were in 2005... and I am in a better financial place. How did we do it back then? Have enough to go on a weekend excursion? If we did it 10 years ago, we can stubbornly do it again. Determination. Goals. Dreaming Big.

Advice For Living A Fulfilled Life

Tying in with my Top 3 Goals of the Summer, I read a great post on 10 Life Lessons to Excel in Your 30s full of great advice from wise sages who have been there and looked back.

While my number one was Exercise, their number one is Saving.

In past blog posts, I have lamented over my monitary woes. It feels whiny and childish to read over them. I deleted several, but kept a few just to remind myself that I was whiny and childish.

Still, I must have been on the right track, because so many wise people shared that their life would have been a lot easier had they saved for retirement, or even for emergencies.

One huge catastrophe. Loss of job. Identity theft. Natural Disaster. Insurance isn't completely enough. There has to be some emergency money saved up. What is the rule of thumb, at least 3 months of your bills?

So, this is a goal for me. It is probably a goal for the majority of you, in your 30s or not!

Number two on their top 10 was health. Of course. You've only got one body.

The next two are about relationships. I address the topic of relationships with my Goal Number 2: Planning, because I am thinking about my family and when to see them and things to do with them. Family is number 9 on the list, addressing more than just your children, but parents, aunts and uncles, grandparents, and cousins. Summer is a great time for family reunions and building memories, reconnecting, and not holding grudges.

A huge section of the list is devoted to talents and dreams, being yourself and loving what you do for a living, and taking chances. I suppose that really is what your 30s are for. Sure, you are ready for a career to begin saving for retirement, but you want to love what you do and be happy. This is a decade of your life, after all. Don't waste it working for the man in a nowhere kind of job. I don't address this in my summer goals, because I am on summer break from my job, teaching. I am happy with teaching, and I don't think it is a nowhere kind of job, but my real passion is writing. What I have to do is remember to devote time to writing and see where that takes me while I work my job and serve children with special needs.

Lastly is a plea to be kind and respectful to yourself. This is addressed in my Mental Health section under having fun. You can't have fun if you hate yourself and everything about yourself. It's like how you can't sneeze and keep your eyes open.

Want to know what to do to find your happiness?
Being Honest, Kind, Respectful, and having positive self talk is addressed in detail in my wordpress blog, "Spoonfuls of Sugar: A Happiness Journal" during the month of July 2014. Expect one post a day. :)

Generosity: Small Steps

I recently read 'Five Practices of A Fruitful Congregation', technically AFTER my church did, but I digress. Many of the beginning Practices outlined in the book I have mastered, and still do. But much like my health triangle, my Practices triangle is a bit obtuse. (We have a graphic posted in our church of the Five Practices and it makes a triangle)

Anyway, the point is, I'm not Generous!

So I tried to begin today. I made 10 copies of a Thank You card on Word and signed them and handed them out at school to the 10 teachers and aides I work with.

Firstly, I made them with all good intentions. I have a very hard time saying thank you when it is needed. I just sometimes think my gratitude is implied. Why I think that, I have no idea, and it has gotten me in trouble in the past.

Thus, when I got to school, part of me wanted to pretend I hadn't made them and just end the year in silence. I didn't get to write in a personal note to each one. They were not store bought or fancy or really special. They felt weak, and I began to get embarrassed.

But I decided to push through, covertly handing out two cards on teacher's desks who were out of the room. Then I wandered to another classroom and did the same. I was feeling better, like a Secret Santa, on some mission of behind-the-scenes gifting. I enjoy doing things to make people feel good that I don't have to own up to.

In the third classroom, the teacher was present. CONFRONTATION! I began to feel my cheeks grow red and I planned my attack. Swoop in, look at floor, say a phrase to make little of the gesture, exit.

Surprisingly, the teacher said, "Oh you are so kind! Usually people hate me because I yell at them."

Floored, I began to wonder how many times she was thanked in her life. I had to reply. I made a lighthearted comment. "It comes with the territory!" So true. I meant that the students she has are often difficult, but I guess that could go for staff, too.. I considered this. Then I stopped considering it because that would require me to cast judgment on the other faculty. That only causes trouble. I do wish this teacher would praise the students more, however that's a style difference.

I then handed out the rest of my cards in person, with the phrase "I made a little thank you card for everyone." I received small thanks in return, as is custom and polite. It was all over. I finished my lunch.

I should sum this up by stating something that I learned, but I won't. I did it. I stepped out of my comfort zone a tiny bit and have a tiny story about it. Nothing huge happened, no vast emotional bridges were crossed and burned, and I don't feel a strong sense of accomplishment.

This is just a stepping stone. Let's hope I keep taking small steps like this because one day I will be able to turn back and say 'See how far I've come?'


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

How Have I Changed In The Past 2 years?

Day 22: How Have You Changed in the past 2 Years?

I went back to read over my first blogs here on this site. Wow. Some of them are so embarrassing.. I deleted a few posts. *cheeks burn with shame*

It's obvious I have matured as a writer, as well as a mom and wife, by reading back over those. In 3 years, this blog hasn't had much of a purpose but to share a little bit of my life with you. Though I was disappointed in the scattered content at first, I realized that's just me, and I'm not going to change. While I do have ideas for future posts, they are going to be a varied as the songs my soul sings.

In the past 2 years I have:

• owned 3 vehicles
  
• gained one dog
  
• been a wild turtle rescuer
  
• had some great and not so great teaching experiences
  
• been published
  
• made some new friends and said good-bye to others
• bought a house!!!!!
  

Some of my views about the world have been tested and opinions solidified: issues in education and gay/lesbian rights, specifically.

Reading back over my blogs, many of the laments I had about my job are now reminders of lessons learned. Some things never change, and others are just hallmarks to avoid in the future. I am just as hard-headed, and at times impulsive, as ever, still sometimes falling for the same lines, making the same mistakes. Maturity means I'm either recovering quicker, or stopping myself before it gets too far.

One thing that stands out to me: I had forgotten what my son was like at 5 and 6. Remembering his behaviors is a warning to me about what's to come with the younger one! Maybe history won't repeat itself, but as humans, we tend to go through the same struggles at the same ages.


But most importantly, all the bad stuff that shaped me seems to dissipate, the hurt feelings numbed by time. It's the good things I remember most.



This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.