Monday, April 6, 2015

A to Z - "E" is for Energy, Do I put my energy in Enlightenment or Evil?

I picked three words as possible topics for he letter "E"; energy, enlightenment, and evil. I'm going to tie these three together.

Usually, I am quite optimistic and lean towards enlightenment, learning from my mistakes (hopefully). But things in life are evil, even parts of one's own personality.

For example, stronger personalities take the lead more often than sit back. Having too many irons in the fire by leading on too many things or on too many consecutive days is exhausting. The flip side is not knowing how to listen to others and never mastering good communication nor relationship building skills.

What parts of me do I think are evil?

One festering, cantankerous sore in my personality is an inferiority complex where I beat myself up for no good reason. I know when I do it. I even acknowledge it. This helps me deal with it quicker, but doesn't help me stop doing it. It's part of me. I probably will always have moments where I feel people are against me, better than me, or talking about me in a negative way behind my back. I have to face those moments and deal with them as they come. I take any negative thing happening way too personally. Even if it is not my fault, I feel like I am responsible or I am reflected in a negative light.

So where do I put my energy?

Most of the time I put my energy into positive pursuits. I work on my plans, work on my hobbies, make lists, dreams, and set goals. I write; I work; I exercise; I eat as healthily as I feel like. I can't dwell on those negative moments of weakness. I have to overcome.


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